I choose

October 17, 2012

in Be a grownup, Change, Series

A full 20% of my posts carry the I_choose tag – this is another major one for me.

More choices than meet the eye |.freedigitalphotos.net

Choosing is powerful and wise use of choice can make your life much better. Some thoughts on choice:

  • We usually have more choices than we think. For a variety of reasons, we tend to get tunnel vision, seeing only two choices when we have many, or only a few of the many we actually have.
  • We are often offered less than all the choices. Many people try to control and manipulate by offering a limited set of choices – do not fall for this!
  • Life is full of false dichotomies. Learning to question two answer choices is one of the smartest things you can do.
  • Wrong assumptions limit our choices. What we assume can cause us to think a choice is not available, or will be rejected.
  • Not choosing is actually making a choice – especially if you know what will happen if you “don’t choose” or if by not choosing you leave the choice up to someone else. In other words, abdication is a choice, but a very poor one.
  • Doing nothing is a choice, and sometimes it is a very good choice.
  • Rushing to choose when choosing right now is not necessary is a good way to choose poorly. Taking time to think/pray/sleep on it is always wise. If it is a major decision, seeking the wisdom of others is also a good idea.
  • What was a great choice in the past can be a poor choice now and a bad choice in the future. Re-examine your choices regularly.
  • Pride can keep us from changing once we choose, which is a bad thing. Being able to say “I was wrong” and changing direction is a sign of maturity and self-confidence.
  • Some choices are beyond our ability – we cannot choose something that requires others to act unless they are willing to do what we want.
  • Our choices have profound affects others, especially those closest to us. What you choose can help or hurt your spouse, and can open options for them or place limitations on them.

The bottom line is choice is a very powerful tool for good or harm. Choose often, and choose well.

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4 comments
thalie
thalie

Thanks for the great article ! Did you ever write an article on how to choose a spouse? Or on how/why you chose your spouse ? What would you say really helps make the final choice to go for marriage after a substantial time of courting/dating ?

Jenny
Jenny

Interesting how you posted this today. It is sometimes the hardest thing of all to choose to do nothing, when someone you love is being hurt; or to choose to do something, when you feel powerless. Please pray for my husband. My newest blog post has details about the situation. If God moves your heart, please pray for him.

Kim
Kim

This is a great list to really think intentionally about the choices we make every day, whether at work or at home. I used to get so frustrated at work by management who would avoid the necessary hard choices by deciding not to decide. I would get upset as well at choices my children were making in their lives that I could see would result in problems. I always had to remind myself that I, then, had a choice as well, and that was how to and even whether to respond to all such things. Like you said, choose often and choose well. :-)

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

thalie - What most drew me to my wife was her integrity. I was sure she would do what was right regardless of the cost, and would continue to grow and become more and more the woman God wanted her to be. I don't know what you mean by "substantial" but if that is many years and you still have doubts I would say either she is not the right one, or you are not ready yet in general. Praying for wisdom and discernment!

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