The last of my seven key points is sex4her. Sex is not just for men, God intended women to enjoy it too. How can I say that? Because His design leaves no other rational conclusion. While female orgasm is not necessary for conception, the clitoris has no purpose other than pleasure. Besides that, they can have multiple orgasms, their orgasms tend to last longer than the male version, and when they have a good orgasm it is far stronger than anything a man will ever experience.
Yet, many women are not enjoying sex, or at least they are not enjoying it nearly as much as they should. There are several issues here – men who do not really try, men who do not know what to do, and women who resist or limit sex. I will devote a post to each of these.
Men who don’t really try:
It is tempting to say rude things about a man who does not make a solid effort to give his wife as much sexual pleasure as she can handle. Certainly, some men in this category are guilty of selfishness, but there are other possibilities:
- He has no idea what to do, and is not getting any help or feedback from his bride. (See Tuesday’s post)
- His bride has shown no interest in sex. (See Wednesday’s post)
- Exposure to porn has given him a greatly skewed idea of what a woman wants sexually, and how a woman should react to various sexual situations. If you keep trying what you “know”, and it does not work, you eventually just give up.
- He is so sexually starved that he cannot see past the end of his own – ah – nose. This is not a valid excuse, but it is easy to understand why it happens. If you have this problem, at the very least you need to be all about her pleasure after you get your pleasure.
- He has bought into the lie that women do not really care for sex much. This lie is still circulating in the church, with both men and women spreading it. If he thinks she is “supposed to” spread her legs and just lie there, he does not even know there is a problem.
- Premarital experience has convinced him that women do not care much about sex or that they do not enjoy sex very much. Often women see sex as the price they must pay for dates, or to get a husband, and this does not inspire a lot passion or pleasure on her part.
- Fear. Yup, just plain afraid of what a turned on women would be like. I do not know how common this is, but I have had a couple of guys express this concern to me saying “What is she starts to want more than I do” or “What if I can’t keep up” or “What if I can’t satisfy her?” If a man sees her enjoying sex as Pandora’s Box, you can understand why he might try to avoid it.
- Laziness. In general, women need more time and attention to get aroused and to climax. A man who got used to his own pace during years of masturbation may find her pace frustrating. If he does not understand this is a normal male/female difference he may think there is something wrong with her, or that she does not desire orgasm.
If you are not giving your wife all the effort needed to make sex fantastic for her, please ask yourself why. She needs and deserves to enjoy sex as much (probably more) than you do. Do not be the reason she is not enjoying sex to the fullest.
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