I suspect most of us have heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (credited to none other than Albert Einstein). Yet, most of us have been known to get stuck in this kind of insane loop in our marriage.
Why should I expect my bride to react in a new way if I do the same thing over, and over, and over? If I do not like what she does, why do I keep doing what results in her doing what I do not like? Should my complaining about her reaction result in her changing it? Maybe, but if it does not should I expect on-going complaining to make a difference? The on-going complaining is another example of doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome!
I have seen couples get stuck in this, and sometimes I think it comes down to pride. Neither wants to be the one to change; neither is willing to back down. So, they keep doing something neither of them likes in some vain hope their spouse will change. What they really want is to break their spouse! Maybe they do not see it that way, but what else can we call it?
Others have put it this way “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” Clearly, if you want something else, you have to do something else. Maybe you have to try a number of something else’s to get a result you like better, but the option is to keep doing what you know does not work.