Have you heard the saying that “Perception is reality?” I used to hang with a fellow who said that often, and I hated it. At the time, I spiritualised it; reality is what God says, and everything else is a lie. While that is certainly true, we each perceive reality based on past and current experiences, and that colours what we think is real.
For example – if you were born red green colour blind, you do not see colours as the rest of the world does. A certain colour of red is, to your perception, the same as a certain colour of green. So balls of those colours would seem to be the same colour. That does not mean the two balls are the same colour, the truth is they are two separate colours, but some cannot see that, and in their reality they balls are the same.
How does this play out in marriage? If you see red and green, and your bride does not, would you constantly correct her when she “made a mistake” about the colour of some object? Would you get upset and expect her to be able to see the difference? It would be cruel to get upset, and horrible to demand she learn to do something she is not equipped to do.
My theory, which I will kick around the next few days, is we all have places that are a lot like the colour example I’ve given; places where we perceive things differently than our wife for reasons that cannot be changed. I think we also have differences of perception where we can learn to see as our spouse sees, and I may touch on that too.
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Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Investment Improves Your Odds ◄ No surprise – but good to know and DO!
Black and Married with Kids
Marriage Will Not Work Without Respect ◄ A few kinds of respect to think about.
The Generous Wife
Hot, Holy and Humorous
How Kinky Can You Get? ◄ Is THIS okay?
Journey to Surrender
Culture, Politics and Marriage ◄ Who is to blame?
Why Arguments Spiral Out of Control in Relationships ◄ Learn about memory clustering and how it’s hurting your marriage.
It Takes Time To Heal ◄ And everyone is different.
One Flesh Marriage
Hurt’s Opportunity ◄ “What part did you have in it?” is a question we need to ask ourselves often!
The Respected Husband
Politician or Husband? ◄ Politicians can show us how to be bad husbands.
The Romantic Vineyard
Debi’s “boring series” is anything but boring!
But I’m Bored
Bored With Marriage?
3 Types of Boredom in Marriage
Bored With Romance
Boring Communication And How To Avoid It In Your Marriage
Happy Hour – Are You Bored With Sex?
Stupendous Marriage Show 66: More with Shannon Ethridge on Fantasy ◄ Another great interview.