You’ll see, you’ll thank me

November 13, 2012

in Marriage Killer, Seeing Clearly, Series, Understanding Her

Some men seem to think their perceived reality is best for EVERYONE, and God gave them a wife so she could benefit from having his reality imposed on her – with or without her agreement.

Spice rack © Stacy Spensley | http://www.flickr.com/photos/notahipster/3186071983/

For example: a husband who almost never cooks decides to rearrange the kitchen to make it “more efficient” for his wife. Never mind how she had it works best for her. Never mind he does not understand her way or why she does it as she does. He knows best and she is going to do it his way.

Even if his way is more efficient, his actions are unloving and rude. At best he is saying he is smarter than she is; at worse, he is calling her stupid. Besides, humans do not react well to things imposed on them, and forcing his “better way” onto her probably ensures she will never like it.

Before you think, “I’ve never done that” realise it is usually more subtle. The way to ensure you are not doing this is to 1) ask, 2) listen and, 3) do not argue.

Bottom Line: “The best way” to do something is often different from person to person. Efficiency is not a one size fits all thing, and claiming it is means you are making yourself the expert on the right way to do things … and no one loves that guy!

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Image Credit: © Stacy Spensley | flickr.com

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4 comments
Deelmo
Deelmo

Exactly right. My father actually did this to my mother when he retired from full time work. Accept he "organized" her entire kitchen for her one day while she was out of the house. Mom came home and saw what he had done - she never said a word. The next time he left for the day, Mom went out to his garage and "organized" every one of his tackle boxes. LOL. Dad never said a word - but he learned the lesson - big time!!!!

S_Bailey
S_Bailey

Ouch! That one leaves a mark! I have done just that and vigorously defended myself. Thanks for a gentle reminder.....

quinte
quinte

Love the bottom line, that's so true !!!

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