Worth and value – the ultimate perception trip?

November 14, 2012

in Marriage Killer, Seeing Clearly, Shared walk

Throughout history, humans have worked to convince others (and really themselves) that they have worth and value by demeaning others. I think this is the basis of racism – trying to look better by telling everyone that some other people, race, or nation is inferior. Classism and sexism are more of the same, as far as I can tell. People do not do these things because of what they think of others, but because of what they think about themselves – because of their own fears and doubts and inner demons.

Candles © Half Chinese flickr.com

Don’t blow off another’s candle for it won’t make yours shine brighter.” ― Jaachynma N.E. Agu, The Prince and the Pauper.

On a smaller scale, I suspect most of us have been guilty of doing this to our wife. We make what she does less important so we feel better about ourselves. We devalue what she does well, so what we do well looks better in our own eyes. We attack her options, thoughts, and logic so we can tell ourselves that we are smarter. We look down on her being “more emotional” and “more easily deceived” while denying that her emotions and sensitivity often allow her to see things we miss.

Do these attacks work? Maybe they keep our fears at bay, maybe they do not. They do hurt our wife, and they do rob us of the things she could add if we would accept them. I think we also risk telling God He was wrong.

Image credit: © Half Chinese flickr.com 


very insightful today!

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