Lingerie for Christmas?

December 8, 2012

in Gifts, Sexuality, Understanding Her

We did a little poll last week on facebook asking wives if they wanted lingerie for Christmas.

Sexy bra © verypurpleperson | flickr.com

Just under half said yes, some was nice, while only 8% said the more the better. A full quarter said it was okay, but they saw it as a gift for him, not for them. Seventeen percent would rather have a gift certificate so they can pick out what they would like. About ten percent said what he buys is uncomfortable, or does not fit, or makes them feel like a thing rather than a person.

Before you decide this poll says most wives would be okay with some Christmas lingerie, please realise the poll audience is a decidedly pro-sex group of Christian women. In a group more representative of women as a whole, I would expect to see more of the negative answers.

Part of the issue is women as a whole tend to feel more defined by their clothes then men do. What she chooses to wear is an expression of how she sees herself, and what you buy her is thus an expression of how you see her. While the panties you buy her mean to you she is sexy, they may communicate something different (and unkind) to her.

So be careful here. If in doubt, don’t buy lingerie. If you think it is okay, err on the side of too little and not as sexy as you think she handle. If you want to get something, but have no clue how to shop for it, check out my Buying lingerie without dying of embarrassment article. By the way, all of the above is true even more so for giving her sex toys!

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5 comments
J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)
J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)

Hubbies can always opt for the homemade gift certificate with something like "One hour of shopping at ____ Lingerie Store and the purchase of up to $__ of sexy stuff we both like." That way, the wife gets quality time, the hubs' opinion, and the final say-so. Just a thought! Great points here, Paul. (Also, you hubbies might want to replace your own underwear collection with some SHE would like. Whitey tighties are NOT a turn-on. Just sayin'.)

Rosemary
Rosemary

Your comment about women using clothes to define themselves was very insightful. We often have very strong feelings about which colors match our skin, what clothing shapes look best on our bodies, what general style or look expresses our personalities, etc., etc. Men are often unaware of the subtle distinctions that make a big difference to a woman. That doesn't mean you can't buy lingerie for your wife, but you need to do it with great awareness. When in doubt, go for the gift certificate.

workinprogress
workinprogress

I wouldn't mind my husband buying me lingerie to wear in the bedroom, but buying day wear stuff is trickier unless he goes with a brand and style that he knows I like. Even then, bras really have to be tried on. I think it would be really sweet of him to buy me some racy stuff to wear for "play" though. I love that pink bra, BTW!

Rob
Rob

Normally my BW and I have an agreement that we don't buy each other underwear unless the other 1 is present and chooses it themselves. It's much the safest way.

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

workinprogress - Not having the parts that go in a bra, must men have never thought about it. Before I was married I worked at a Sears catalog store (showing my age) and I learned more about the sizing of women's clothing than any man should know!

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