The eggshell dance: just say no!

January 11, 2013

in 2013 Awesome Husband, Be a grownup, Change, Communication, Seeing Clearly

Ever felt you had to walk on eggshells around your bride (maybe two days a month)? Has she ever acted as if she were walking on eggshells around you? Either way, it is not a healthy thing. 

Walking on egg shells © Vclements | Dreamstime.com 

Sure, we should be aware of our spouse’s mood and stress level, and adjust what we say and do accordingly, but if we cannot be kindly honest about who we are and how we feel, that’s a problem. Waiting till they are not in the middle of something, or have had a bite to eat, sure, but having to shelve things for days at a time is bad for a marriage.

If you have been doing this, you need to confess it to your wife. Yes confess, as in you did wrong. Tell her you are sorry, and you are going to change. What, you will ask me, do you then do when you don’t walk on eggshells and she explodes? Then you deal with that – you deal with her wrong. You see, walking on eggshells is really a way of avoiding her bad/wrong/sinful behaviour, and if you avoid it, you cannot call her on it. If you want it to end, you have to let her do what is wrong and then confront her about it.

If you think your bride has been walking on eggshells, start by honestly looking at yourself to see if you have given her any reason(s) to act this way. If you have, deal with those wrong things before you ask her to stop her eggshell dance. If you have given her cause to do it, let her know you understand that and are working to change it. Tell her that not walking on eggshells will help because it will help you see if you have dealt with the problem or have to keep working.

Image Credit: © Vclements | Dreamstime.com

3 comments
Nathan N.
Nathan N.

Good stuff. We submit one to another in the fear of the Lord. The problem of false burden bearing is subtle. We tell ourselves that we are loving the other person by making ourself responsible for their bad behavior. We try to fix ourselves or be nicer to the other person in order to make things better, but it is dishonest and manipulative. Love without transparency and the trust spoken in love is not love.

EggshellWalker
EggshellWalker

Right, so I love this article, and as you can guess, I am the eggshellwalker. My follow up question would be, how do you address the "explosion". You can't address it in to the moment, because that triggers another explosion. If you deal with it the next day, then it's possible to argue that the explosion was not nearly as bad as I experienced it. :)

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