V-day is coming!

February 1, 2013

in Acts of Service, Aff Link, Her Needs, YOU4HER

I know many men see Valentine’s Day as something created to get men in trouble – and sadly, that seems to be the case for some. 

He hates Valentine's © Boaz Yiftach | freedigitalphotos.netIt does seem that Valentine’s has become defined by women for the most part. Some would say men failed to pay attention and let women define it, while others would say no one is listening to what men think it should be. Some men have just given up, and are focusing instead on a male created holiday a month later that is known as “Steak and BJ day” (yes, really). Sure, it would be nice if all the ladies read Scott’s suggestion that they Turn This Valentine’s Day Around, but since I am talking primarily to men here…

I would start by asking you if this is a hill you want to die on. Even if she is being unfair, is this a wise battle? If you want to fight this battle, you will be in a much better place to do it after you have given her a great Valentine’s or made your best effort and been told you failed. Beyond all of that, maybe this is one of those times when you should keep silently reminding yourself “I am doing this because I love her” as you work to bless her. Please also consider the things your wife has been taught to think about Valentines, and what you not seeming to care about it means about your feelings about her. If she buys those lies, your downplaying Valentine’s could send her a message you do not mean and do not want to send!

It is your call, of course; just think and pray about it, and do what feels right. If you decide that you should do something other than abstain, you may benefit from my posts next week.

Links may be monetised
© Boaz Yiftach | freedigitalphotos.net

If you want to shop on-line for Valentine’s Day, time is running short. Below are some links, most of which will earn me a few pennies if you use them and buy something.

17 comments
HMT
HMT

I love what my wife did this year. Late January, she sent me a link for jewelry that she actually wanted. All I had to do was pick--done. And she'll like it because she picked it. I love her for this. For years, I tried to guess and messed up every time.

workinprogress
workinprogress

Okay, checked out the M&M's website. Thought it would be fun to create a batch of "bedroom" candy. Nope, nothing I typed in was allowed.... and I wasn't even trying to be crass. They wouldn't even accept "sexy" grrr!

Eric
Eric

Instead of flowers, you can buy red and hot pink bulbs to plant in the yard for her - still flowers but more practical and adds to the landscaping to be enjoyed every year. If her love language is "acts of service" she'll especially appreciate it.

Eric
Eric

My wife is awesome. When we first started dating she told me that VDay is for suckers and she doesn't celebrate it. Now that we have kids she's turned it into a family celebration so (as she says) they aren't warped. lol My son and I grill dinner and the girls decorate and make some kind of dessert. Pressure off.

Dave
Dave

We decided a few years ago that we would recognize Valentines Day but not go over board. That for us usually means a card and a small gift exchanged. In our house the most romantic thing about Valentines is that it gives me a chance to stock up on those cheap children's valentines. I hide them all over the house, in her car, in a her pants pocket... and I do it randomly through the entire year. My bride loves receiving these simple love notes and it means even more that it might be clipped into her curling iron, in September. It's cheap, it's simple, it's cheesy, and I doubt I'll ever stop.

workinprogress
workinprogress

If you're not sure whether or not to "celebrate" V-Day, I'd suggest you err on the side of caution. At the very least stop by the grocery store and pick up flowers and a card. If she really isn't a flowers gal, a gift card to somewhere she likes to shop, tell her you're picking up take-out for dinner (from a real restaurant, not McD's) or a yummy treat. Personally, all I want to know is that my husband is thinking of me. That said... here's what I DON"T want.. stuffed animals candy expensive flowers (I prefer to not have flowers that cost the equivalent to a new pair of shoes) jewelry (unless I've mentioned it) electronics a date to a fast food restaurant. If you don't know what is on your wife's black list, ask her to make a list of gifts that she would not appreciate. You can then keep that list in your wallet to refer to for all other holidays. You could also ask her to make a list of gifts that she would appreciate on a given occasion and keep that to refer to as well.

J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)
J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)

When is this "Steak and BJ Day"? I may have an occupant in my house who'd like to know. LOL. I'm betting you can't yet find Hallmark cards for that one!

Kate S.
Kate S.

We made it easy on each other and don't bother with it.

Phil Evans
Phil Evans

Thanks for this post. On a light-hearted note I thought perhaps many followers of this blog would relate to this: http://xkcd.com/1016/ as regards Valentine's Day. My problem is that every year I have to say to my wife, "What did we decide? Do we do Valentine's Day?" And then wake up on Feb 13th and realise it's tomorrow....

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

workinprogress - I did not realise it was a strictly G rated site. Thanks for the heads up!

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

Eric - I like it, as would my wife. Other women not so much. As you suggest, it's all about knowing your wife!

Kate S.
Kate S.

Lol! Glad to realize that ditching Valentine's Day makes me an awesome wife! (No, I'm not Eric's wife, but he said HIS wife is awesome for ditching it and I ditch it, too!) Ok, I did dress hubby and I's bed up in ivory and burgandy satin sheets with silk quilt and hubby loved it, but that's it.

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

J - That would be March 14th. The "official web site" has cards. I'd say the site is R rated, but I have only glanced at it.

J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)
J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)

Why would I need a website? Sounds like a straightforward concept to me. Maybe I should devise the PG-13 rated version for Christian married couples. Hmmm. Thanks. :)

workinprogress
workinprogress

I perused the site a bit as well.. definitely R rated, if not bordering on X.

Trackbacks

  1. […] a different holiday altogether. Paul Byerly of Generous Husband made me aware of the alternative celebration, concocted by men of course, of Steak & BJ Day […]

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