“Hi, I’m Paul (Hi Paul) and I’m selfish. It’s been 8 minutes since I had a selfish thought and almost an hour since I acted on a selfish thought.”
I suspect we can all relate. (If you cannot, please either come give me some help, or get some help for yourself!) Lori and I had an interesting talk about selfishness this morning, and I told her I want to be far less selfish. She blames Bob Goff’s influence, but I think this is something God has been stirring in me for a long time.
Let me start by defining selfishness. Merriam-Webster Online says that selfish is “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others”. That works for me. The word selfish is not found much in Scripture, but commands to die to self, to sacrifice for others, and putting the needs of others ahead of our needs can be found many times. God seems to have very high standards about this.
I think that most who know me in real life would say I am less selfish than many. While that is nice, there are two problems with it: my goal is being what He wants, not being better than others are, and what others see is my actions, while I am also aware of my thoughts and feelings. Trust me when I tell you my thoughts and feelings are far more selfless than my actions – and my actions are far from what they should be!
Of course, it is good to have selfish feelings and not act on them, but how much better not to have the selfish desire in the first place. I am sure some will tell me this is not possible, but if that is the case God wasted a lot of time telling us to do just that. Can we ever be rid of every bit of selfishness? I fear not – but I think we can become far, far, far less selfish than we think. I do not see many trying that; maybe that is because we do not think it is possible. I am saying, for me, that it is possible.
Regardless of how unselfish you think you could become, I suspect you know you could be less selfish than you are. I see it as a goal that is not only good, but also commanded. It is also a goal that will make us much more awesome husbands.
So what selfishness are you going to attack first?
Great tweet of the week:
Don’t let your circumstances change your attitude. Use your attitude to change your circumstances. @redeemmarriages
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Sheila of to Love, Honor and Vacuum posted a three part series on what she called “a dangerous thread in Christian teaching regarding women’s roles.” I have the same concern, and I feel Sheila did an excellent job with this:
The Generous Wife
Intimacy in Marriage
What Does Sex Mean to Your Marriage? Here’s a Simple Way to Find Out. ◄ A good couple exercise, if you dare.
Do Some People Believe Your Marriage Won’t Make It? ◄ I’m being talked about ….
Journey to Surrender
Make a Valentine’s Day Plan ◄ Time is running out!
Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly ◄ Be a hero in your marriage
What Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day ◄ Some excellent thoughts here.
One Flesh Marriage
Ten Days of Sex ◄ A sex challenge.
Redeeming Marriages with Jack and Janet
Learning To Accept Your Spouse ◄ Because trying to make them someone else is not love!
The Romantic Vineyard
Safe at home
Finding Gold At Your House ◄ Look for it, it’s there.