I recently had an email from someone who said he is sexually satisfied, but it doesn’t mean much because his wife does it out of duty and is not very active during sex.
- Getting something the majority of the time I desire sex. (Something could be anything from her hand to full blown, wild sex.)
- Having the kind of sex I desire and enjoy most of the time.
- My wife both wanting and enjoying sex most of the time we do it.
- Knowing how to give my wife a great deal of sexual pleasure.
- My wife knowing how to give me a great deal of sexual pleasure.
- Being able to freely talk and joke about sex with my wife.
- Seeing my wife naked often, including apart from sex.
Have I set a rather high bar? Perhaps, but would anything less really be sexual satisfaction? I suspect most men could easily make a similar list of what it would take to be truly satisfied sexually.
Yes, it takes a great deal of time and practice to reach this lofty goal. It will take months at least, and probably years. However, you can be very happy with your sex life along the way, especially if you see on-going learning and growth.
When you talk to your wife about sexual satisfaction, does she know what you mean by those words? Does she think you’re just talking about “getting enough”, or does she understand you mean far more?