Knee Jerk Push Back

February 17, 2013

in Communication, Links to good stuff, Seeing Clearly, Understanding Her

Are you guilty of reacting negatively to everything presented to you? Not negative as in putting it down, but resisting it or giving a hundred and one reasons why it can’t be done.

Pushing back © Cementjungle | Dreamstime.com

In my day job, I am known as the guy who tells you why it won’t work. I’m one of a couple folks who bring realism to a group generally lacking realism. In my job always challenging can be a good thing – if I don’t overdo it. In a marriage, however, it is much easier for “negative” to become over powering. I’m not saying don’t be realistic, but don’t beat her to death with all the ways it could go wrong.

Another face of this is the person who dislikes any change, even good change. Try not to resist change just because it’s change. I’m all for asking why we should change, what benefit there is to the change, and if the benefit is worth the effort, but be reasonable.

I think we have a natural tenancy to try to balance things, so if someone seems “too excited” it’s tempting to find ways to dampen their enthusiasm. If you often find yourself doing the dampening, give it some prayerful thought; maybe you need to alter your approach, or the intensity of your approach. If you often find yourself on the receiving end of push back, examine how you present things; maybe you can approach your wife in a way that won’t make her feel she has to back you down just to stay sane.

NOTE: The on-line version of yesterday’s post picked up a link to a book I do NOT recommend. It seems that my Viglink code got too aggressive about adding links. I have fixed that now, so you should only see links I intend. Those links will be found in posts, and on the Shop-to-Give page. Sorry!

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Great tweet of the week:

You can’t simultaneously be grateful for something and feel entitled to it. @justindavis33

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Patty of Assume Love posted3 Ways to Feel More Loved ◄ A short post with three great points/techniques.

 

The Generous Wife

He’s Still Your Valentine ◄ Just as true with the genders reversed.
The Perfectionist Trap ◄ Waiting for prefect can hurt your marriage.


Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

Marriage is a Marathon ◄ A poor start means nothing!


One Flesh Marriage

10 Day Challenge – Intimacy Reignited ◄ Did you take the ten day challenge? Pick up your certificate of achievement and on-going instructions.


Redeeming Marriages with Jack and Janet

Give Your Best Gift ◄ This is a Valentine’s post that goes way beyond Valentine’s. Read and learn.
I Want To Know What Love Is ◄ So do I! Join Jack and Jane as they dig into what the Bible says about love.


refine us

Back On The Same Page ◄ A great 5 step plan to get back on the same page.
Sex Beyond Valentine’s Day ◄ Improving your chances the other 364.


Safe at home

Love: Sacrificial Acts, One At A Time ◄ Is this how your love looks?


…to Love Honor and Vacuum

Asking for Help ◄ Do NOT let pride keep you from help you need.

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