Are you asking the right questions?

February 25, 2013

in Communication, Seeing Clearly

I’e noticed recently some people are asking the wrong questions. For example, someone might ask, “What kind of new car should I buy?” rather than “Should I buy a new or a used car – or drive what I have another year?” Another example would be asking, “When should I tell my father-in-law how wrong he is?” rather than “Should I tell my father-in-law how wrong I think he is?” An extreme example would be “Should I commit adultery with my secretary or the lady I met at the bar?”

New car? Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee | freedigitalphotos.net

If you don’t ask the right question, you can’t get the right answer. If your question assumes certain answers to other questions (aka arrogance), you are unlikely to get the right information. Sometimes we do this to God, resulting in a situation where we cut ourselves off from His truth. We also do it to our spouses, leaving them wondering why we’ve made assumptions and are living as if those things are facts when they’re not. When we ask the wrong question and demand a yes or no answer, or give multiple choices no including the correct answer, we set ourselves up for trouble.

As I’ve thought and prayed on this, I realise I’ve been guilt of it many times in the past. I can trace some big mistakes to my asking the wrong questions and I can see times when my failure to ask the right questions resulted in hurting my wife. Seeing the harm I’ve done, I’ve decided to be better about my questions. Am I asking the right question? Is there a question that should proceed the one I’m asking? Does my question make any unsafe assumptions?

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Image Credit © Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee | freedigitalphotos.net

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