Call Before You Come By

March 4, 2013

in Intimacy

My bride and I are childless for the first time in our marriage of twenty-eight years (she brought a daughter into the marriage). I announced this to friends and family by posting the following on facebook:

BOOM! Empty nest. Call before you come by. ;-)

Alone at last! © Branislav Ostojic | Dreamstime.com

The responses have been interesting, from those who gave their own empty nest countdown to those who don’t want to even think about their children leaving home.

I read a while back that the second highest period of divorce for couples is the year after the last child leaves home. Some of this is couples who “stayed together for the kids”, but that’s not the primary reason. All too often, when the kids leave the couple discovers the kids were the only thing they had in common!

I can’t say we’ve been chomping at the bit to have an empty nest. Our son has been a very well-mannered young man. For the last couple of years he has been covering his own bills, and has been more help around the house than he has been extra work. Still, having the children all grow up and move away is a natural part of life. We’ve looked forward to this, and we’ve built a relationship that will not just survive, but thrive without children.

What about you and your wife? Regardless of how old your children may be, are you intentionally building a relationship that will thrive when they eventually leave?

A parent’s brag: We are very proud of our son. He’s made great decisions and planned his moving out well. He is far better prepared to “be on his own” than either his mother or I were when we left the nest. If children as adults were nothing more than the result of the parenting they received, we could claim to be brilliant parents. In truth, I feel I managed not making too many messes, pointed him in the right direction, and rarely got in the way of him hearing and following God. 

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24 comments
DennisNBeckyBernardi
DennisNBeckyBernardi

Whoop, Whoop, we are ready for the new chapter of our lives as EMPTY NESTERS! We intentionally planned when we decided to get married 32 years ago that we would have our children while we were young so we could enjoy the rest of our lives. Anybody that intentionally plans to begin having children in their 40's is not thinking clearly but, to each his own. Our oldest married 8 years ago, middle daughter is about to be engaged, and youngest is getting married next month! 2 have college degrees and are in  the work force, one has her own business,  and the other just finished tech school! We are DONE with SCHOOL! That is an AWESOME milestone in itself! We have one grandchild by our oldest. My husband turned 50 this past October and I turn 50 this coming August. So for us it is a blessing the accomplishments our children have made, 2 upcoming weddings - which are stressful but beautiful, and then we are at a calm and start the new chapter of enjoying our grandchildren. Hopefully, do more traveling and enjoying each other as a couple again! Getting our lives back! Thank you God for your goodness.......... - See more at: http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2013/03/04/call-before-you-come-by/#sthash.WXRGVIDe.dpuf

bbh999
bbh999

BOOM! Empty nest. Call before you come by.   Hilarious!   I'm happy that the change isn't causing a trauma in your marriage but just the opposite.

bbh999
bbh999

BOOM! Empty nest. Call before you come by.

 

Hilarious!

 

I'm happy that the change isn't causing a trauma in your marriage but just the opposite.

Joshua Belyeu
Joshua Belyeu

I still don't see the joy in so-called "independence" from the kid's point of view. I'm the 32-year-old son of a single mother, and my 29-year-old sister is much more anxious to live alone than me. Our mother recently said she wants all 3 of us to live separately when our lease ends in May, but I don't want to. I've tried living alone twice before, and hated it both times. I don't see the peace or joy that so many claim to have when leaving home.

Joshua Belyeu
Joshua Belyeu

I still don't see the joy in so-called "independence" from the kid's point of view. I'm the 32-year-old son of a single mother, and my 29-year-old sister is much more anxious to live alone than me. Our mother recently said she wants all 3 of us to live separately when our lease ends in May, but I don't want to. I've tried living alone twice before, and hated it both times. I don't see the peace or joy that so many claim to have when leaving home.

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