Yesterday I talked about taking offence where none is intended. Some folks have made doing this their hobby. Some even do it on behalf of others. Still others of do not do this in general, but do it often with their spouse.
Some use offence as a tool to manipulate and control. Being offended can make us feel superior, feel entitled, justify our anger, or excuse us withholding things from our spouse. When we learn to use offence in this way, we start looking for offences, and if we cannot find an offence, we may invent one.
Allow me to share a secret with you – being offended at your wife does not mean she has actually done anything wrong. Being offended at her does not make her wrong, and it does not make you right. What’s more, being offended does not make you special, nor does it make you powerful. If you use your being offended as a club to manipulate or control that just makes you a bully, not a victim.
If you are easily or often offended, that is not about the people around you, it is about you. Deal with it.
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