It’s Understandable Many Husbands Turn to Porn.

March 16, 2013

in Reader Requested, Sexuality

Did te title get your attention? It’s a reply to an unstated double dog dare in recent comment.

Porn - it's a trap! © http://shar.es/e6Z68

Do I mean the title? Yes. I completely understand why a guy who’s feeling sexually deprived, be it for quantity or variety of sex, would turn to porn. He has a huge hunger that’s not being met, and porn looks like it can feed part of his hunger. Porn turns him on, which he’s not getting from his wife. Porn makes masturbation better, which he’s doing because he’s not having much (or any) sex with his wife. Porn makes him feel he has some control over his sex life, where as his marriage makes him feel his wife has all the control over sex. I get it, I understand. 

However, in the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar “It’s a trap!” Porn is a temporary fix that actually makes a man’s married sex life worse. Porn can’t give him all he wants sexually, and by giving him a skewed version of just part it messes up his ability to want or enjoy real sex with his wife. Porn is like taking drugs to forget about being hungry – it works for a while, but you still need food even if you don’t feel it, and you risk creating an addiction that just makes your life worse.

I am fortunate I understood all this about porn before I got married. I got into porn at seven, and by the grace of God, I got out of it at fifteen. When our sex life was rare and a source of pain and frustration, I was as tempted to look at porn as a starving man is to eat food he knows is full of poison. That is to say my urges wanted me to do it, but my intelligence stopped me. Would it have been understandable had I decided just a bit wouldn’t hurt me? Sure. Would it have hurt me, and my wife, and my marriage? SURE!

For any woman reading this, please don’t think I am saying porn is okay, or no big deal. On the other hand, please realise desperation often results in people doing wrong, hurtful, and harmful things. While you may not see a lack of sex as a reason for desperation, most men do.

Tomorrow: The Sermon on the Mount – marriage edition.

Links may be monetised
Image Source: http://shar.es/e6Z68

Shop AmazonShop to give links page
We are donation supported – thanks for your help!

6 comments
A Trampled Wife
A Trampled Wife

What about a husband whose wife has been open with her body, being willing to dress in sexy outfits and do things he wants to do that he considers exciting, and has only denied him sex when she had a barfing flu or heavy periods--yet he turned to porn to the point where he would get up in the middle of the night to watch it and wake her up to act things out? What does this wife do? I feel so cheap and used.

Lee2_0
Lee2_0

I think what you're saying is what 1 Cor 7:3-5 is saying. When one person deprives, it is sinful and will OBVIOUSLY leave the other very vulnerable. Whoever is depriving needs to address those issues and not point out the sin in their partner. It's the whole Matthew 7:3 principle of pointing out the splinter in someone else's eye when you have a log in your own.

Lee2_0
Lee2_0

I think what you're saying is what 1 Cor 7:3-5 is saying. When one person deprives, it is sinful and will OBVIOUSLY leave the other very vulnerable. Whoever is depriving needs to address those issues and not point out the sin in their partner. It's the whole Matthew 7:3 principle of pointing out the splinter in someone else's eye when you have a log in your own.

Previous post:

Next post: