A recently married couple got back from their honeymoon and showed up at church today. I watched them being the way newlyweds are.
Do you remember how you felt when you were first married? The joy, the wonder, the love, the desire never to be more than a foot away from one another (and preferably in constant physical contact)?
We are told that cannot last. We are told, by people who no longer feel that way, it is actually good that those feeling do not last. Personally, I think there is some sour grapes thinking in all of this – we proclaim that what we have lost must be lost, that there was no choice, that it is not our fault it is gone.
Yes, of course, our marriages grow and change, and that means some of the initial feeling will change. However, change and loss are two different things, and many of us have lost many of the initial loving feelings of our marriage. Rather than those feelings growing and maturing, they died. Maybe they died of malnutrition because we did not make the time to feed those things. Maybe they were murdered by pride, jealousy, fear, or selfishness.
Most of those feelings, or at least mature versions of those feelings, can continue past the first year. Those things can be with you for your entire marriage if you are willing to do what it takes to foster and feed them. You can even regain the feelings if they have been lost, if you are willing to do the work.
What could you do to bring some of those feeling back? What could you do to bring some of those feelings back in your spouse? If you acted as you use to, might that start some changes?
What are you waiting for?
Image Credit: © David Castillo Dominici | freedigitalphotos.net