Yesterday in Why why is important, I talked about following a chain of “Why’s” to get to the real reason for something. A major challenge in this is getting to the real why.
Human nature is to avoid things we don’t like, which includes why we do much of what we do. Our why, our real why, reveals a great deal about us. Our why can show we’re courageous, or afraid. Our why can show we’re generous or petty, giving or selfish, mature or childish.
When our why makes us look good, we’re happy to share why we do what we do; when our why makes us look bad we try to obscure it with other things. We blame circumstances or other people – anything to avoid being discovered.
If you’re not being honest about why you do certain things in your marriage, that should be a huge red flag to you. Likewise if your bride avoids giving clear, simple why’s – she may be hiding something that needs to be exposed and dealt with.