Right, Wrong, and Different

April 9, 2013

in Communication, Seeing Clearly, Understanding Her

I often use a meat thermometer when I cook – one too many safe food handling lessons when I worked at a restaurant years ago.

In my mind the logical place for this kitchen implement is the drawer next to the oven/cook top – you know, right where I’m going to be using it. However, the thermometer is often in a drawer on the other side of the kitchen, and down the row. This other drawer is where my bride puts it when she washes it. So the question, clearly, is this: What is wrong with her brain?

Sharp things  © Dirk Westphal | Dreamstime.com

I finally asked her. Turns out, she has a very logical reason; she puts everything sharp or pointed in one drawer. I’ve lived with this woman 28 years and I never realised she’s done this in every kitchen we had. All the things that can cut and poke are in one drawer – a drawer as far above the ground (toddler level) as possible. Turns out there’s nothing wrong with her brain (or at least not in this area), she simply has different motivations and priorities than I have.

The next time you find yourself wondering what’s wrong with your wife’s brain, take a moment to consider she may not be full on crazy. Ask her why she does what she does the way she does it. Don’t ask in an accusing way, but rather with an honest desire to understand. Even if her reason doesn’t seem as great as your reason, give her sanity the benefit of the doubt.

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Image Credit © Dirk Westphal | Dreamstime.com

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2 comments
heidi2
heidi2

I keep a laundry basket for dirty clothes on top of the dryer in our laundry room.  My husband puts his dirty laundry BESIDE the basket instead of IN the basket.  This irritated me to no end.  Really, you can't reach another inch and a half to make it into the basket?  After fuming about it for weeks, I finally asked in a nonthreatening or accusing way why he didn't put his clothes IN the basket.  He said it was because the clothes he puts beside the basket are so dirty or sweaty that he didn't want to mess up the rest of the laundry.  Let the fuming cease!!  He was being thoughtful in a way when I thought he was just being irritating or spiteful. 

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