A few months ago, I’d have told you I understood male and female as God intended, and I was not limiting or discounting my wife because she is female. I would have been telling you the truth about what I thought and felt at the time. Recently, however, I have come to realise my perception was (and probably still is) skewed in this area.
It’s not that I treat my wife horribly, intellectually think I am better than she is, or expect her to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen all the time. It is far more subtle than that. I don’t want to admit it, but somewhere deep down I think God values men just a bit more; not much more, but more none-the-less. Such thinking must affect how I feel and act. I think it’s been my “tie breaker” – if everything is equal, then I “win” because I’m male. To be brutally honest, if her idea/argument/thought is just slightly better or more valid than mine is, I probably tip it over to my side because I’m the man. So, her want, need, idea or whatever has to be at least 5% bigger or better than mine for me to go her way.
Please realise I’m not talking about headship here. I am convinced God made the husband the head of the family. This about how I evaluate what’s important, what’s needed, what’s true. I’ve always tried to weigh all the data, but now I see I’ve been fudging just a bit in my favour.
What about you? Some of you will think this doesn’t apply to you because it actually doesn’t apply to you. However, some of you will think it doesn’t apply when in fact it does. Some of you are wilfully deceived as I was. Maybe, like me, you’re so much better than other men you think you couldn’t be doing this, not even a bit. I have no idea how to help you know if you’re doing this without being aware of it, I don’t know if someone could have convinced me of this in the past.
My suggestion it to pray about it. Don’t just pray about what I’ve said here; ask the Lord to show you anywhere you’re not treating your wife as He would have you treat her, not seeing her as He sees her, or limiting her in ways He would not have her limited. If we honestly seek His truth, He will reveal it.