12 Confessions of a Marriage & Sex Blogger

April 23, 2013

in ~ list info, None of the Above

A little over a week ago, Kate of One Flesh Marriage wrote 10 Confessions of a Marriage Blogging Wife, and a number of CMBA members have followed with their own list of confessions. I’ve been dragging my feet, but it is time for my list of “confessions”:

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  1. I have an exceptional vocabulary (both my parents taught English at one time) but my spelling is horrendous! In part, my poor spelling comes from ignoring school until seventh grade, but I honestly think my brain doesn’t process English well; I don’t find it at all logical and it drives me crazy.
  2. I learned web mastering specifically to do marriage ministry on-line. I’ve learned a great deal and have a love hate relationship with the technical side of blogs, websites, Twitter and so on. Code makes sense to me, and I enjoy learning and doing the “back-end” stuff, but it can conflict with doing the actual ministry. Additionally, things usually go wrong at the worst possible time.
  3. I entered into marriage with an image of what it could be that was better than anything I’d ever seen. I have no idea how I got the image (I blame God) or why I was so sure it was possible (I blame God for that too). It took years of hard work, and more trial and error than I could imagine, but today I’m living something even better than the image (I blame God for that, too!)
  4. Marriage taught me I was far more selfish and much further from perfection than I thought. I still run into this daily. Sigh.
  5. I have no lack of ideas for posts. I currently have 168 drafts – partial posts or post ideas. Some are duplicate ideas, and some aren’t practical, but there are easily 100 posts in there just waiting to be written.
  6. When I was in high school, my friends came to me for sexual information – even friends who were having sex came for advice before I was having sex. (My dad had many factual books on sex, and I read them all.)
  7. The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association is a dream come true for Lori and me. We have wanted to be a part of something like that for a long time, but never felt called to start it. When we were asked to help, we were thrilled. We think CMBA will grow and improve this year, and we look forward to the group helping new bloggers survive the first year and keep going.
  8. The last time I was truly embarrassed was in third grade. That sure helps when you talk about sex with strangers!
  9. Sometimes I write a post I think is brilliant, and it doesn’t get a single comment. Other times I write something I feel is barely good enough to post and it gets many positive comments and a lot of retweets and likes. While this is confusing, it is great for keeping me humble!
  10. I have many people “ask me” about something when what they really want is to share a part of their sex life with me and find out if it’s too weird. The desire to be “normal” is huge, and being told something isn’t abnormal makes people feel so much better.
  11. I’m hesitant to post something if I’m not living it at least fairly well. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, it is just how I feel.
  12. When we started The Marriage Bed in 1997 we could not have dreamed what it would become – and had we known I’m sure we would have shut it down and gone into hiding. However, today I’m very happy we stuck with it. I don’t think I could ever stop helping marriages. I can see myself on a street corner with a hat next to a sign that says “Will give marriage advice for spare change!. :-?

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I like what you said about marriage teaching you how selfish you are because I absolutely agree. Marriage taught me way more about how selfish I was than I'd care to admit, but I think this is a common misconception going into marriage these days among young couples: that marriage is all about making themselves happy, rather than being refined and serving God and your spouse, laying down your lives for each other daily in service, love, respect, and honor. 


Paul, this is an awesome list and I can relate to many of them! Paticularily 4, 7, 9 and 11!! So well said and so thankful Brad and I are blessed to be doing marriage ministry next to you and Lori and so many others! Truly humbling! You guys are awesome! :)

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