How do you balance the need to focus on the positive without ignoring the danger of real problems?
A while back, someone complained I’m too negative, and too hard on people (or at least on men). Since then I’ve been monitoring what I write, and what I think about writing, and I think the criticism is valid. I’m convinced focusing on the positive is important, but I’m also convinced ignoring big problems is wrong and leads to disaster. I’m passionate about marriages, and I get worked up when I see marriages suffering. I think this is why I have tended towards beating men up for what I see many of them doing “wrong”. How do I talk more about the positive, and what to do, while not ignoring the negative and what should not be done?
In part, the problem is a result of the way I communicate with you here. I’m more balanced in person because I can see the positives of a person’s life. I can complement people on what I see them doing well, and encourage them to do more of the same.
All of this is to say I will continue to examine what I write and will make an effort to do more “positive” posts. Along those lines, I encourage you to think about what you say to your wife, and work on saying more positive than negative things.