I was expecting (okay, hoping) someone would say my What are you tolerating? post yesterday was at odds with the “choose to let some things go advice” I have given many times (including last Sunday). Maybe my repeated use of the word integrity prevented it. I wasn’t talking about differences of opinion or different valid ways of doing things; I was talking about sin.
I think we have an obligation as a fellow follower of Jesus, and as husband, to point out sin to our wife. Of course, we have to be able to do that in love, and we need to work on doing it more for her sake than how we can benefit. But the obligation is clear; if it’s sin, we need to speak up. Fortunately, we aren’t responsible for forcing her to change, nor must wee get her to agree she’s in sin. Neither are we supposed to bring up her sin repeatedly. If it’s significant we may need to follow the Matthew 18 example of getting others to address her, but nowhere do I see us told to nag people about their sin!
What if she keeps walking in sin, especially if she makes it clear she doesn’t see it as sin, or doesn’t care if it is because she’s going to keep doing it regardless? I think at that point it is time to set it down. I’d make a point of telling her you’re setting it down not because you’ve changed your mind about it, but because she’s shown she is unwilling to deal with the issue. (The words “hard heart” come to mind, but I doubt it would be a good phrase to use!) In other words, make it clear you’re accepting her as she is, sins and all.