My Saturday post, Celebrating the male sex drive, resulted in the expected emails from men struggling with a wife who believes lies about male sexuality. I also got emails from bloggers and a couple of folks working with couples dealing with this problem.
One email stood out for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it was written after my post, but before my post was on-line; so it was not in response to my post, but it fits perfectly. Secondly, it expresses the most extreme case of this I have ever heard. The wife has indicated God wants her to limit the amount of sex because the man cares too much about sex, and denying him sex will help him develop a deeper relationship with God. In other words, this woman claims it is God’s will for her to say no to her husband for as long as a couple of months at a time.
As far as I can tell the women is serious about her faith, and wants to do what is right before God (and the husband strikes me the same way). Yet, this woman is convinced God is asking her to do something in direct contradiction with the Bible! Does this show you how pervasive the lies about male sexuality are in the church?
Two thousand years ago Paul addressed this very thinking in 1 Cor 7. The roots of the situation were a bit different, but not much. There were those known as Gnostics who thought the body was inherently evil, while the spirit was inherently good. They taught the way to know God better was to abstain from pleasures of the flesh – with sex being near the top of the list. The Gnostics said even married couples should abstain from sex for the sake of their walk with the Lord.
This is what we are up against; the lies run deep and they’ve been in place a very long time. This is why I’m
asking begging for help! It’s going to take a massive effort to put the truth in front of enough people, enough times, to make a significant difference. On the other hand, sharing the truth once with someone could result in a change for that person and her current or future spouse. This is especially true for those not yet married – including teens. Teach sex in marriage is an incredible thing to be enjoyed for a couple’s entire life. Make sure every bride expects her husband to want her 24/7. If you’re a married woman who has a good sex life, find ways to let other women know you like sex and like that your husband wants you. If you hear women expressing lies about male sexuality, lovingly challenge those lies with truth.
Bottom line: Be an unapologetic sex positive Christian!