In Fake it till SHE Makes it I asked, “Is it the right thing to do even if it does not result any change in your wife?” I answered that I think it is.
I often mention in passing that we should do things because they are right even if we gain nothing from doing them. I wonder if that gets missed because it is usually offered as an afterthought in a post discussing how what we do might result in a positive change in our spouse.
I am all for doing things to nudge our spouse in the right direction. I think it is a loving and effective way to bring about change. However, much of what I suggest to do falls under the category of what we should all be doing as husbands. If you try it and see no change in your wife that is unfortunate, but if you are only doing it so she changes your heart is not right. If we only do what is right for what we can get out of it, we are not any better than the “people of the world” are. Jesus calls us to a much higher standard.
By the way, I see this as a major headship issue. It is all well and true to say a woman should “submit” regardless of what her husband does, but we all know most women will not do their part if her husband is failing at his part. The man who does what God calls him to do, regardless of what his wife does, is showing true headship. Do what is right because it is right and let God deal with your wife.
Great tweet of the week:
15 min of leaning on Big Guy’s shoulders & sharing our days makes everything feel ok.@forgivenwife
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Assume Love posted One Last Stand Before Divorce ◄ Patty pointed to this old post because it has had some new comments recently. So glad she did, this is a must read!
I Would but I Can’t ◄ Wish I’d seen this soon enough to link to it from my “Limits Both Real and False” post.
Black and Married with Kids
In Your Marriage, Can You Stand the Rain? ◄ Storms will come, are you ready?
The Generous Wife
Stop It Before It Starts ◄ Learn to stop a fight before it starts.
Take a Mini-Vacation ◄ Even when time and money are tight, find a way.
It’s Just My Phone ◄ Don’t let the day set you up to blow at your spouse!
Hot, Holy and Humorous
3 Tips on Having a Great Orgasm ◄ This is written for women, but you can learn from it.
Intimacy in Marriage
Sex as a Priority: Will You Make the Hard Choices? ◄ If you say no, or avoid sex, PLEASE read this.
Journey to Surrender
A True Love Story ◄ Do you love like this?
One Flesh Marriage
Just Ask, Because I Didn’t See ◄ Avoid problems with better communication.
Redeeming Marriages with Jack and Janet
When is it Okay to Talk About Past Hurts? ◄ Should the past stay in the past?
The Romantic Vineyard
Expect-cations ◄ Don’t let your expectations ruin your vacation.