This is my version of a graphic found in “Be the Church“, a free e-book by Kalinowski & McBee. Thanks to my pastor for putting me on to this.
This is spot on! Be it spiritual growth, personal growth, or the growth of your marriage, it’s never rarely neat and clean. Growth is not a one-step after another forward kind of thing; rather it’s more of a four steps forward, one step back, two steps diagonally to the left, and a hop in a random direction kind of thing.
If you follow the red line on the right side of the graphic, you will see places where total direction is the wrong way for as many as three moves. You have to look at larger sections of time (four or more moves) to see overall movement in the desired direction. This is the way you change and grow, and it’s the way your spouse changes and grows. This is how your marriage changes and grows, and it is how your sex life changes and grows.
If you understand this truth about growth, you can avoid a great deal of frustration. Learn to track growth over weeks, not days, and don’t get too worked up by short-term moves in the wrong direction.
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