It is so very easy to see what she is doing wrong, isn’t it? You don’t have to try, it just jumps out at you: “if she would just…” or “if she would stop…” or “if she were not so touchy…”.
I just wish it were half as easy for us to see what we are doing wrong!
Human nature is to down play and excuse what we do, while not doing the same for others. Most of this is so automatic we do not even realise we are doing it. The result is that both husband and wife see more of their spouse’s faults and wrongs then they see of their own faults and wrongs. This can result in both honestly thinking the other is more than half the problem!
The next time you find yourself frustrated with you wife, ask the Lord to show you the following:
- Extenuating circumstances: Why is she doing what she is doing? Why she is upset, angry, frustrated or otherwise not being nice? The why does not make her less wrong, but if you cut yourself some slack when things are rough, you should do the same for her.
- Misunderstandings: Maybe you are misreading her. Maybe she is upset because she has misread you.
- What about me?: What you may have done to contribute to the situation.
- Resolution: What you can do to help the situation.
A quick response to her negative words or actions is usually going to make matters worse. Slow down, pray, and find a better way.
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