How do you think you rate as a husband?
It may surprise you that I don’t think of myself as a great husband. Sure, I could look around and conclude I’m above average, but so what? Given how many marriages end in divorce, and how many other couples stay in miserable marriages, being better than average is still rather poor. Besides, I’m not competing with other men, I’m competing with myself.
I think I’m a good husband to my wife, and I think I continue to get better, but I have a very long way to go.
The reasons I’m not as great as I would like to be? I’m selfish, and I’m rather opinionated. I’ve done a lot to reduce those things, but they still live in me and they still limit my awesome husband potential.
What makes me a good husband is focusing on what my wife wants and needs. I focus on fixing the parts of myself that most hurt, frustrate, or limit her. Some of my growing up is for and about me, but a good deal of it is about her; about her needs and wants.
Where am I falling short? I don’t always get things done for her quickly. I will often stop and do little stuff immediately (in part because if I don’t I know I may not get it done), but bigger things often take me far too long. I could excuse that based on how busy I am, but I need to be less busy and I need to put what’s important to her higher on my list of priorities. I also expect her attention “right now”. I’m fighting that, but so far it just means a short lag between me being (wrongly) frustrated and doing or saying something to communicate my frustration. This one I have only seen recently, and I am still working on it.
Where have I improved? I used to be very messy, and it truly hurt my wife. I’ve gotten way, way better on this one, and I continue to improve. I’ve attained a level of “neat” well beyond anything I care about, but I keep working on it for her.
Okay, your turn. Answer these five questions:
- What attitudes and intentions keep you from being a great husband?
- What attitudes and intentions make you a good husband?
- Where are you falling short?
- Where have you improved?
- What are you going to do about this?
Great tweet of the week:
Don’t be so stubborn @ForBetterOrWhat
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Storyline (Donald Miller) posted Why Self Pity is Ruining Your Life ◄ Get over it and get a better life.
A Grown Up Marriage
How to Avoid Growing Apart ◄ Be on the lookout for it, and be ready to act.
Black and Married with Kids
3 Statements Every Spouse Needs to Hear ◄ Got these covered?
Cracking The Romance Code
What do you do for fun? ◄ You know, besides sex.
The Generous Wife
Does Your Marriage Have Enough Grit? ◄ Got Grit?
Safe at home
Home Ain’t Your House ◄ “I wonder how many of us, if we’re honest, put a lot more stock in the buildings we live in than we should.”
…to Love Honor and Vacuum
Women Need Foreplay: When Husbands Don’t Understand Its Importance ◄ You know this, right?