I had a number of emails about my It’s Not Your Job post. Several of them pointed out it actually is our job to correct other Christians.
Fair enough, there are verses about this, and they apply to our wives as much (probably more than) they do other fellow believers. The issue, with anyone, is correcting in a godly way. We are required to correct in love and humility – if we can’t do it that way we are not fulfilling the scriptures.
For example – last week I wrote a very difficult email to a long-time friend. I have needed to write it for couple of weeks, but I was hurt and angry and I knew I couldn’t do it the way it needed to be done. It took time and prayer to get to where I could do it in the right way. It would have been good if I had been able to do it sooner, but doing it wrong sooner was not a good choice.
Another issue is learning to hear God about His timing. Even if I speak in perfect love and humility, how my words are heard depends on the heart of the other person. I could say the same exact thing, the same exact way, at two different times and get drastically different reactions. If the goal is helping the other person change, as opposed to checking it off my list, then knowing when to speak is critical.
Then there’s the issue of who can and who can’t reach another person. Issues of fear, pride, and past encounters all come into play here, and this is especially true in marriage. Sometimes hearing the same thing from another person will have a much more positive effect than hearing it from your spouse. Again, if change is the goal, we should be ready to step aside and let someone else say what needs to be said.
I’m not making special requirements here for marriage; I think each of these is at least wise, and probably required for correcting anyone.
Great tweet of the week:
Courage doesn’t mean we’re not afraid anymore, it just means our actions aren’t controlled by our doubts. @bobgoff
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Is This Working? (Assume Love) ◄ 1st of three techniques for a happier marriage.
This Working? (Expect Love) ◄ 2nd of three techniques for a happier marriage.
Is This Working? (Find Third Alternatives) ◄ 3rd of three techniques for a happier marriage.
Cracking The Romance Code.
Clueless man needs foreplay information from caring wife. This is not a classified ◄ She needs more than a place!
The Generous Wife
First Thing in the AM ◄ Initiating this with your wife will probably bless her a great deal.
Hot, Holy and Humorous
Using Your Body for Marital Intimacy: Heart and Soul ◄ Without this, the test does little good.
Journey to Surrender
Planes, Trains and Automobiles ◄ How to stay connected when you are separated by travel
Redefining The List ◄ This. Do this.
The Romantic Vineyard
The Art of the Restart ◄ Stu and Lisa are back! (Along with a button that is smaller and less blue.)