What Our Priorities Communicate

October 27, 2013

in Her Needs, LESSisMORE, Links to good stuff, Marriage Killer, Seeing Clearly

I recently sent this to the worlds of Twitter and facebook:

No one is really too busy for sex; they just don’t care enough about their spouse to make it a priority. ~ Sex Tip

To Do List © Paul H. Byerly

I admit it was written to be a bit confrontational, and I certainly got the expected responses with a number of folks explaining how busy they were and why.

Before I go deeper, let me say I could have said the same about many other aspects of marriage:

  • No one is too busy for some quiet conversation; they just don’t care enough about their spouse to make it a priority.
  • No one is too busy for date nights; they just don’t care enough about their spouse to make it a priority.
  • No one is too busy to be romantic; they just don’t care enough about their spouse to make it a priority.
  • No one is too busy to buy the occasional gift; they just don’t care enough about their spouse to make it a priority.
  • No one is too busy to take out the trash; they just don’t care enough about their spouse to make it a priority.
  • And so on…

In fairness, some folks really are too busy to do some of those as often as they should be done, but their busyness is a choice. That choice is based on priorities, and the priorities communicate how important the person’s spouse is to them.

Sometimes the choices were made in the past, and often that was done without full understanding of the consequences. Some of those are subtle things – we chose to spend more money than we had, so now we have to work long hours to keep ahead of the debt collectors. Sometimes the choices were made as a couple, but maybe both were not really on board. Sometimes we have choices forced on us by others, but honestly, it is rare we can’t say no or walk away.

Bottom Line: Either your spouse is a priority, or they are not. If they are, then what matters to them is a priority to you. If what matters to them is not a priority for you, then they are not a priority.

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Great tweet of the week:

All that you are gleaning from marriage resources is best used on yourself first. @GenerousWife

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Storyline Blog postedWhat I Learned About My Busyness from a Man in a Maroon Honda ◄ Do you have time to be nice?

 

Black and Married with Kids

When Opposites Attract: How to Handle Differences in Marriage ◄ Embrace the differences!


Cracking The Romance Code.

Why don’t you ever listen to me? Maybe you both need a paradigm shift? ◄ Hint: She’s not a guy!


Do Not Disturb

Five Hindrances of Sexual Freedom: #5 Busyness ◄ Speaking of being too busy for sex…


For Better – or What?

Nag Me Some More ◄ Maybe nagging means something other than you think it means.


The Generous Wife

Spontaneity ◄ Not something that comes easily for some.
Focus on Your Stuff ◄ A much better plan.
Appreciate the Differences ◄ You can both benefit.
Together We Are More ◄ The power of synergy.


Pearl’s OysterBed

A Window Into O’s ◄ If your wife struggles to orgasm, I suggest you both read this.


The Romantic Vineyard

50 Shades Of Grace In Marriage A very nice series. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5


Safe at home

Is Fear of Missing Out Driving You? ◄ Trying to do it all?


Sex Within Marriage

Are sex toys allowed in a Christian marriage? ◄ Sex toys?


Stupendous Marriage

Toys in the Marriage Bed ◄ Sex toys – again!


…to Love Honor and Vacuum

Help! I Caught My Son Watching Porn! Stopping Kids from Using Porn ◄ Be aware and be proactive.

1 comments
DefinitelyJon
DefinitelyJon

Wow, what a great post. My priorities have definitely been something that I've been thinking about as of recent; somewhat struggling to find where they are at. Thanks for providing some discernment!

-I love your blog, though, as an unconventional target here (single guy, 22), I thought it would be cool if you checked into the Disqus commenting system (it's pretty awesome), it might help facilitate better comments and participation?

Anywho, thanks again for your great content!

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