Is it Wrong to Augment?

November 7, 2013

in Seeing Clearly, Series, Sexuality

So all the rest of this aside, is it wrong for a woman to have her breasts enlarged?

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Some will say yes, absolutely – we shouldn’t alter how God made us. I could argue we do that by cutting and trimming our hair, dyeing our hair, getting our teeth capped, or even working out beyond what is necessary for good health. But those are all weak arguments in my mind. Let’s look at a couple of other things:

The woman I mentioned in the original post had lost both size and firmness due to nursing her children, and she was just looking to get back to where she was originally. Is this different from wanting more? Is one okay and the other not?

What about women who want to get a reduction? Large breasts can be a significant problem for a woman. It’s hard to find clothes that fit well, some activities are difficult or impossible, men stare and make assumptions about her, and it can lead to serious back pain. Big breasts can honestly be a handicap, and few of us say it is wrong to have surgery to overcome a handicap! What about women who are asymmetrical – one breast noticeably larger than the other?

If surgery to have less or even breasts is okay, then how can we say surgery to have more is wrong? Why does enlarging seem “less right” than reducing or evening out? I suspect the issue is one of intent. We think wanting bigger is about trying to look sexier, an issue of pride.

I think we men should admit we can’t possibly understand what a small chested woman feels. While we only have to deal with sexual comparisons in the locker room, a woman’s breast size is on display 24/7 for everyone who sees her. How would we feel if the length of our penis was tattooed on our forehead? How would we feel if that was the case and we were much smaller than most men?

It would be nice for everyone to be satisfied with what they have, be it breasts, penis, hairline, or height; but how many of us have achieved that? I don’t know where to draw the line between a reasonable modification of the body and an unreasonable one, but I suspect the reason for doing it is the main issue.

If I were faced with my bride wanting to have her breasts enlarged, I’d try to be understanding and open to discussion. I’d start by telling her I like how she is, and I really don’t want her to change, but I understand she may feel she needs to do it for herself. Then I would suggest a serious search to learn the reality of the procedure, including possible side effects or problems, pain, recovery time, loss of sensation, interference with mammograms, need for replacement, and how most women feel after they have the procedure done. I think this is a loving, supportive way of dealing with the issue, and I think it would communicate I’m perfectly happy with the how she currently looks.

In this series: 
Breast Augmentation? 
Liking Big Breasts Means What? 
Women Who Have Augmented.

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10 comments
HeCallsMeJewel
HeCallsMeJewel

In my experience, most of the negative comments I received about being small came from girls. Most guys didn't seem to have a problem with it. I've always been small chested, 32A in H.S. and 34B in college (when me and hubby got married), but it didn't bother me that much cause they were perky, and I'm a small girl all over anyway. Until I had kids. My breasts have gone up to a 34C, and now after breastfeeding my 4th child are down to 32AA. The girls have fallen, if you know what I mean!! I have seriously considered B.A. , because it is so difficult to find a bra/swimsuit that fits correctly, and so discouraging to try to shop for either. It kind of makes me feel that I must not be normal, because I can't even go into a bra shop and find something that fits perfectly. Yet when I mention it, the comments I receive , such as be happy with what God gave you, or that's so vain, give this Christian girl pause. I feel guilty for even thinking about it! And no, my husband has never said I should have a B.A. In fact, he would prefer I didn't, he likes me the way I am. Thanks for easing some of my guilt about even considering it!

KathleenKeene
KathleenKeene

I just wanted to say that it is the hormonal changes from being PREGNANCY that can cause sagging and such, NOT BREASTFEEDING.  Thank you. :)  
I only had one child, but nursed full term(e.g. way longer than most American women do with all their children combined), and mine are the same as when I was 22. :D

lovemarriagesex
lovemarriagesex

I think there is a common misconception that women have breast augmentations to "attract men".  Sometimes, it's because clothing doesn't fit well or they just don't feel sexy for their husband.  I considered it for some time, then decided I was happy with what I have.  But then after two children, I have considered it again. Not to make them bigger, but, as you said, back to how I was originally.  I think God gave us modern medicine.  Why not take advantage if it helps you feel confident?


Random question for J...does it change the sensitivity of your nipples at all?  I know sometimes they remove the nipple then sew it back on.  Does that not do something to the nerves?  Random question...lol.

JPLyman
JPLyman

I do think it is wrong if it is the husband who starts the discussion then he is telling his wife she is not perfect for him.  If it is the wife starting the conversation then I don't believe it would be wrong to discuss.   I also believe things should be kept proportional - if you are petite and get basketballs (Dolly Parton) then I would start asking some serious questions about whose idea and the why. 

I believe the bigger question is what is making your wife feel that she needs different size breast?  Is she doing because of outside pressures or is it for her.  What is her goal in getting BA?  

My wife and I have had these discussion as she would like a lift and reduction and I like her just the way she is (I guess I'm a sexist :-) and we have been having this conversation for the last 2 years going through the above questions.  

HotHolyHumorous
HotHolyHumorous

Yes. A big yes.

I've been open about this on my blog, so why not here? I've had a BA, and I don't think anyone whom I didn't tell would look at me and know that. My husband was perfectly happy with my much smaller breasts. It was me who wanted the change, and some of my reasons were very practical--like an inability to find clothes that fit (which is not a problem now). That said, I'm also more confident about my body and happy to have more to offer my husband in the bedroom.

I do think this question is a matter of degree. Degree meaning the number of procedures you have, the extent of the change you seek (does any woman need an augmentation resulting in an F-cup?), and the reasons you have for doing it. I spent a great deal of time considering, researching, consulting, and yes, praying about my decision. And for myself, I think I made a good choice.

Oh, and one other thing: Ladies who get a B.A. need to be careful not to show them off to everyone. I've seen a lot of augmented breasts shoved into push-up bras with low-cut blouses and displayed like a game show prize. We need to keep in mind that our breasts are to satisfy our own husbands, not to arouse excessive attention from other men.

lovemarriagesex
lovemarriagesex

@KathleenKeene That's true.  I didn't breastfeed either of my children (I know, I'm the devil!) and my boobs are still saggy.  The unfortunate truth.  :(

TheGenerousHusband
TheGenerousHusband moderator

@lovemarriagesex Men certainly see it as an attempt to get some attention. I understand that is often not the case, but still something it would be wise for a woman to consider. Of course if she is not going up several sizes it is unlikely to be an issue.

HotHolyHumorous
HotHolyHumorous

@lovemarriagesex Happy to answer! Nipple sensitivity was one of my big questions too. But few augmentations are performed that way anymore. Most now involve a small incision made underneath the breast. I experienced no downgrade in sensitivity. 

I honestly don't encourage every questioning woman to have B.A. because it's SURGERY after all, and surgery shouldn't be taken lightly. But my biggest advice for a wife who decides to go this route is to be very clear with the doctor about what she wants. Some plastic surgeons will recommend an implant size bigger than the woman is comfortable with or that won't look natural on her. I did my homework, was clear with my desires, and like the result.

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