Her Anger Might Mean…

December 2, 2013

in 2013 Awesome Husband, Understanding Her, YOU4HER

Ever wonder what on earth you did to make her mad? Ever gotten some version of “You should know” when you have no idea why she is upset?

Angry Woman © stockimages | freedigitalphotos.net

One possibility is she is feeling unloved by you. You did something, or did not do something, or have not done enough recently to express your love, and she feels hurt. Telling you she feels unloved would be a good way to go, but she wants you to show her love because you desire to, not because she asks for it. (It is just like you wanting her to initiate sex, and it doesn’t “count” if you ask her to do it.)

This is not the only reason she may be mad at you when you have no clue why, but it is a solid possibility.

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This very much could be true... but also from this woman's perspective some of the times when I am displaying anger or irritation at my husband, and he's wondering "what did I do?", it really has nothing to do with him.  If I'm fighting a spiritual battle within, it is manifested outwardly by anger and irritation.


Likewise, then, the contrapositive would hold that if your Bride feels your love for her in the sensitivity of your responses and in all your considerations and subsequent actions, then she will not have a desire created in her to express her insecurities through irritation. After all it is exactly as you pointed out, acts of love that are bought, sold or that have to asked for are not from a heart that possess love because love will be expressed reactively if it is really there.

The apostle said it best: Love is patient, love is kind, it does not feel envy nor does it promote pride in one's self. It does not behave in an unseemly manner and likewise it does not seek its own gratification. It is not easily provoked nor does it think evil toward another. It does not rejoice in the triumphs of evil, but rather it rejoices when truth prevails. It bears the burdens of loving while believing in and hoping for all good things; therefore it will endure all the evil things of this age. It never weakens.

TheGenerousHusband moderator

@janna94 Yup, been on both ends of that one. Lori and I are now able to see and communicate when we are dealing with that, but it took years to get there.


The difficulties in things like this, I've discovered, don't come from anything other than perspective. If it isn't first believed that such things are possible, then they are not. I'm not talking mystical mind-over-matter ideology; I'm talking about being good at being human- which is what we were created to be. My Precious One knows I love her exactly because such things as these can be done and easily, if love is truly present in the heart and if it is believed that being both good and righteous and pleasing to God is possible by what you do. The difficulties in being a good human being begin in our own hearts. Therefore, what we believe about our God is our perspective on what is difficult or easy to do. That is why I say: Be good. It's what you were created to be!

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