Looking for Change

December 5, 2013

in Change, Communication, Seeing Clearly

People change. Some change is rapid while much is more gradual, but we all change throughout our lives. Women usually change more than men for a couple reasons. Children affect women more than they affect men, leading to bigger changes. Additionally, women go through various hormonal stages, and these result in changes in how they feel and think. (None of this is their imagination; there are actual changes in their brains and biochemistry.)

Change Ahead © mrpuen| freedigitalphotos.net

It’s a given your wife is changing. The question then is how well are you doing at keeping current with her changes? It would be nice if she sent you a regular memo with the changes going on, but even if she were willing to do that she probably isn’t aware of all the things changing.

Make a point of looking for changes. Become a student of your wife so you see the changes in progress. Ask her what is happening in her life (ask, don’t complain or accuse) and refer to the changes you see if she does not. Then make modifications to benefit both of you.

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2 comments
Eleutheros
Eleutheros

“Become a student of your wife...”  What a succinct way of expressing what a husband's love should look like! After all, no professional’s education is ever completed so why shouldn't the learning of each other in a marriage be on-going?

I was reminded of this that I wrote into our marriage vows: "I vow to keep you always first in my thoughts, to honor you when I speak and show preference for you in my actions, giving myself freely to your authority over me. I vow to learn from you how to love you and cherish you and I, in turn, vow to teach you how to love and cherish me, I vow to forgive you when you have done wrong and rejoice with you when right prevails. I vow to be patient and kind with you always and to abandon pretense, jealousy and selfishness. I vow to always believe the best of you and to encourage all the good I find in you, that together we will become the best that we can be. I vow to always respond to you from obedience to these vows and to consider with tenderness and respect your desires and wishes in all the choices I make."  It feels good to have my heart confirmed through your own pithy and wise words; I am, indeed a student of my wife! Cool.

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