Gratitude

December 9, 2013

in Gratitude, Understanding Her

I spent much of the afternoon sending out thank you emails to those who regularly support Lori and me, or the TMB general fund. I felt a deep gratitude for these people – a gratitude I do not express often enough.

Thank You! © Stuart Miles | freedigitalphotos.net

Do you know who moves my heart the most? It is not folks who have been giving for the better part of a decade (thought they do bless and amaze me). Nor is it those who give generously each month (who also bless me). The one that really gets to me is the person who sends a few dollars and change every so often. I don’t think it has ever been as much as five dollars. I do not know the story, but I assume someone with very limited money is giving as they are able. I do not know why they give, but I assume Lori or I have said something that blessed them. This person is not making a huge difference in terms of dollars, but they are having a huge effect on my heart.

I think this has an important marriage application. It is nice when our spouse gives out of her abundance, and it is nice when she gives repeatedly for months and years. However, we must not miss when she gives out of her lack. When she has almost no energy, and still gives, that is huge. When she wants to go hide, but still makes an effort to bless, that is huge. It is too easy to miss or dismiss such giving because it is so small, but this is a mistake. If you ignore her giving from her lack, or even worse complain it is not enough, you are telling her you only want her to give when she can give “at least this much”. Aside from being a slap in the face, this is a good way to ensure you will receive less in the future.

Jesus gave us the example on this in the story of the widow’s mite (Luke 21:1-4). Jesus said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” You need to know when your wife gives all she has out of her poverty. You need to thank her not based on how much she gives, but how much it cost her. This is appropriate, and it encourages her to do the same again in the future.

All of those who give to us deserver our gratitude. Who have you failed to thank recently?

By the way, if you have supported us in the last year and have not heard from us, please accept my apology. I had a couple of email addresses bounce, and I may have missed someone. We are very grateful to all who support us with prayer, finances, and by pointing others our direction.

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5 comments
Romance Man @ CrackingTheRomanceCode.com
Romance Man @ CrackingTheRomanceCode.com

Very thought provoking. This is actually why we as the recipients of gifts treasure them so much.  A simple honest "thank you' says "I value you and your contribution to my life." Your thought of the wife who "gives out of her lack"  is challenging as this is really true giving at its core?


Anyone who has an excess in the wallet can reach in and give out of that volume. However, as in the widow of Luke she gave a sacrifice. It challenges the thoughts to imagine how we can actually give out of our lack  towards one another.


HMMMMMMMMMMM ... might be a sermon in there somewhere!


Thanks my friend!   (Noticed I left off a "g" in the top of my profile and can't seem to get back to correct it?)

hiswifeagain
hiswifeagain

Love the message here.  I do feel slightly offended on behalf of husbands with your statement "and it encourages her to do the same again in the future".  The way I read it is that you thought they needed a reason that benefits them to make them want to do the right thing.  "It is appropriate" full stop.  I believe the men that take time to read your blog are godly men that want to do the right thing because it's right.  An attitude of gratitude honors God and others and that's why we should be appreciative.  


So not a real complaint I guess, just an observation really.  I read your blog daily and appreciate the effort you put into it.   

TheGenerousHusband
TheGenerousHusband moderator

@hiswifeagain I see your point. I always stop and consider when I do something like that. Sometimes I add it, sometimes I do not. 

I also assume most here want to do the right thing, but knowing it can also benefit the them does sometimes help make it easier to do the right thing. Or maybe that's just me?


"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works." [Heb 10:24 ESV]

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