PARTY!

December 19, 2013

in 2013 Awesome Husband, Acts of Service, YOU4HER

Have you been invited to a number of Christmas parties this year? Attending all of them could be bad for your marriage!

Party Decorations © Ron Bird | freedigitalphotos.net

I know a very few couples where both husband and wife are all about parties, but this is a rare animal indeed. Odds are one of you is far less into partying than the other, which can lead to problems. Aside from how many parties you attend, there’s how long you spend at each party. Another possible problem is leaving an introverted spouse on their own – especially in a group where they don’t know many people. Being too loud or telling embarrassing stories or jokes are other issues.

It may seem these problems are just part of the season and the damage is limited to the season. This may be true the first couple of times, but frustration and resentment will build and then the damage from Christmas parties may become the gift that keeps on giving.

If you have no problem with your party schedule, then odds are your spouse does. Have a talk, and really listen to her concerns.

It may be too late to cut back on parties for this year, but you do not have to show up early and stay late. What’s more, you can choose how you behave. Some self-control for the sake of your spouse is likely to be appreciated, and it will probably be rewarded in some way in time.

Bottom Line: Party on, dude, but be excellent to your spouse!

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3 comments
CrackingTheRomanceCode
CrackingTheRomanceCode

We have found that when we are getting to a party, we agree before hand the basic amount of time we are going to spend there. When the time comes, we thank the hosts and gracefully leave.


It works for us!  Have a "focused on each other" season to get the next year started.

dcoach
dcoach

Of course this can work in the opposite direction as well.  The husband may be the more introverted person.  One option is for the more introverted spouse to choose to attend a few parties and the more outgoing spouse to choose to attend a few less parties.  Another option is for the more outgoing spouse to attend all of the gatherings he/she wants IF the spouse is okay with it.  If both people are okay with it - really okay with it - then that can work.  If one or both resent the other for not being more like them then it could be problematic.

TheGenerousHusband
TheGenerousHusband moderator

@dcoach  Very true. In which case I suggest speaking up before parties, as CrackingTheRomanceCode suggested. Your suggestion is also solid.

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