Is Fear Limiting Your Marriage?

January 13, 2014

in Be a grownup, Change, Marriage Killer

Fear can be a great thing – it can keep us from doing things that would injure or kill us. It can also keep us from doing things that would injure or kill our marriages.

However, fear can also keep us from doing things we should do or need to do. Just as an over-active fear of heights could limit your life, and a fear of people could turn you into a hermit, unreasonable fears can limit and hurt your marriage. 

Fear © Danilo Rizzuti | freedigitalphotos.net

What I see most commonly along these lines is the fear that change will be bad. I see men and women not at all happy with their marriages who resist attempts to change out of fear that the result will be even worse than what they have now. While this is understandable, it results in a marriage that becomes less and less tolerable.

Another common fear is that “she will find out who I really am and stop loving me”. We all desire to be fully known yet still loved, but we worry parts of ourselves are so horrible no one could love us if they knew. This fear stops couples from getting closer together, and if you’re not getting closer, you start to drift apart.

I think a good way to deal with these kinds of fears is to realise the fears will certainly hurt our marriages while what we fear may be false or something we can work through. Choosing sure damage over possible damage is a bad way to live your life.

What fear is limiting your marriage?

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Image Credit: © Danilo Rizzuti | freedigitalphotos.net

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2 comments
marseille55
marseille55

I agree that fear is a dominate motivator.  I think that the greatest single fear that keeps us from moving ahead in changing is the fear that God will not come through for me, that if I put myself out there as a servant to my spouse [which we are actually to be towards all], that God will not really "have my back".  


Facing up to the call to change is really the ultimate test of faith.  Do I really believe that God is all I really need and that His love for me means He will take care of my real needs.


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