For you, sex is travelling down a wide-open highway; once you get on the road it’s clear sailing to the destination. Your wife’s road to sexual fulfilment is a bit different. The road is longer, and she must cross a number of bridges. If all the bridges are open, she can get there but it will take longer than it takes you. However, one or more of the bridges may be washed out or closed for repair. If she can’t cross a bridge she may be able to go around, but that will take even longer, and there’s the chance that she will get lost.
If she has bridges out you can:
- Ignore it and hope she finds her way.
- Get upset with her.
- Help her navigate around the problem.
- Help her get the bridge(s) repaired.
In my mind, the best option is a combination of #3 as a short-term workaround and #4 as a long-term fix.
Most women enter marriage with damaged bridges. One or more might be out, or so badly damaged it takes very little to bring them down. It’s also possible you unintentionally damaged or destroyed some of her bridges. Who’s at fault is irrelevant because every missing bridge limits your sex life and hurts both of you.
A few of the common bridges:
- Healthy understanding of sexuality
- Positive body image
- Free from sexual abuse and other negative sexual experiences in her past
- Good communication with husband
- Feeling loved and respected by her husband
- Feeling well connected with her husband – meaning having enough time with him
Yes, it takes time to repair a bridge properly, but the results are well worth the time and effort.
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