Today is my 29th wedding anniversary… and they said it wouldn’t last! Actually, a lot of “them” did say it would not last. Good thing God was with us!
I suppose I should do “the 29 things I have learned in the last 29 years”, but instead I’m going to focus on a single broad truth I’ve learned.
I’m not the same man I was when I got married. My goals, motivations, wants, needs, hopes, fears, dreams, boundaries, and so much more have changed. Some of this change is the result of growth, but some is a result of the changes that come with age.
When we’re young we’re deep in the grip of testosterone. We’re driven. We’re aggressive, we want to conquer, and we have a sex drive that tests our zipper many times a day. None of this is inherently bad, and these drives can do good things if we don’t allow them to run wild. What I want you to understand is the push behind these things, testosterone, drops as a man ages. For some, the drop is extreme, which can be a problem, but for most it’s a gradual drop and honestly, it brings some nice changes.
If you’re in your 20’s or 30’s you need to know there will be a change in what you value as you get older. Some of what seems vital to you now will be less important, and some things you value little now will become more important. You’ll value time with your wife and kids more in the future than you do today. If you make a mess of those relationships now you’ll be sorry in years to come.
As you grow older how you view your job will change. As other aspects of your life become more important, you’ll derive less of your self-worth from your work.
Sex also changes; it gets much better! There’s a bit of a drop in drive, but it’s not significant. However, your sex drive will become less loud. You’ll still want and need it, but you’ll find it easier to go an extra day without. It’s easier to park sex and do something for her. You’ll also find it possible, and enjoyable, to slow down when you have sex. If you’ve maintained a good loving relationship with your wife, odds are her sex drive will increase and she’ll find sex easier than she did when she was younger.
Bottom Line: You can mess up your future by what you ignore today. Your wife and your marriage will become more important to you, so do not close any doors.
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