A hard fact of life: You can’t change your spouse.
An empowering fact of life: You can change yourself.
If you decide all your marriage problems are your wife’s fault, you are powerless to bring about a change in your marriage. You have given her all the power and you are at her mercy.
If you realise there are things you could/should change in your marriage, you have power to bring about change in your marriage.
I am amazed at how many men seem willing to put all the power into their wives hands and just wait for a miracle. I know these men would not agree with my perspective on what they are doing. Some would argue most of what needs to be changed is all about their wife. Others would say the changes they could make are minor and would not matter. Still others would admit there are things they could change, but they would then say most of the problems are on their wife, or the biggest problems are hers.
Frankly, I do not think very many men are that close to perfect! Yes, I have seen marriages where the problems are primarily hers, but it is the rare exception. Even when it is mostly hers, if he can make changes he should. Aside from being the right thing to do, it moves the marriage in the right direction. It is also a form of leadership. When you make changes to improve your marriage you are setting an example for her to follow. Do not tell me she will not follow your lead; you do not know that until you make a significant effort!
Empower yourself – deal with your stuff!