A hard fact of life: You can’t change your spouse.
An empowering fact of life: You can change yourself.
If you decide all your marriage problems are your wife’s fault, you’re powerless to bring about a change in your marriage. You’ve given her all the power and you’re at her mercy.
If you realise there are things you could/should change in your marriage, you have the power to bring about change in your marriage.
I’m amazed at how many men seem willing to put all the power into their wives hands and just wait for a miracle. I know these men would not agree with my perspective on what they’re doing. Some would argue most of what needs to be changed is all about their wife. Others would say the changes they could make are minor and wouldn’t matter. Still others would admit there are things they could change, but they would then say most of the problems are on their wife,’s part or the biggest problems are hers.
Frankly, I don’t think very many men are that close to perfect! Yes, I’ve seen marriages where the problems are overwhelmingly hers, but it’s the rare exception. Even when it’s mostly her, if he can make changes he should. Aside from being the right thing to do, it moves the marriage in the right direction. It’s also a form of leadership. When you make changes to improve your marriage you are setting an example for her to follow. Don’t tell me she won’t follow your lead; you don’t know that until you make a significant effort!
Empower yourself – deal with your stuff!
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