Someone asked me what I thought about orgasmic meditation.
I keep my eye on many things sexual, so I’ve been aware of orgasmic meditation (OM) and slow sex for some time. To some degree, these are offshoots of Eastern sex, Eastern meditation, and Eastern philosophy practices, but I suspect this is not the real base of the practices. Still, the practice of such things should be a concern for anyone following Jesus.
Another concern I have with these is OM and slow sex tend to focus a great deal on the women. It seems the male partner, if indeed the partner is male, is little more than tool for pleasuring the woman. I’m all for giving our wives sexual pleasure, but not at the exclusion of male pleasure. The man’s needs aside, a woman can and should enjoy her husband’s pleasure, and making that an afterthought at best is not good for either of them.
Orgasmic meditation and slow sex are just a bit more than a decade old. Other Eastern based practices of “Sacred Sex” have been common in the States for decades. There is Tantric Sex, rooted in Buddhism and Taoist Sex, which came out of Chinese Taoism. Both of these originally involved a good deal of Eastern mysticism and spirituality. Many modern teachers give little more than lip-service to these roots, but there’s usually enough to be concerned.
A practice common in Easter sex, which is gaining popularity outside of those disciplines, is limited ejaculation for the man. Some Eastern religions teach that semen contained a vital life force and losing semen makes you weak. Karezza is sexual intercourse with the man not having an orgasm. Dr. Alice Bunker Stockham coined the word Karezza in 1896. Stockham claimed it took a man two weeks to a month to “recover” from an ejaculation. She felt men not having orgasms would benefit wives and form stronger marriages. Men were to avoid orgasm unless they were trying to conceive, but women were encouraged to climax during sex. In her later writings, Stockham said women too should learn to have sex without orgasm.
Amazingly, a growing number of people are now promoting Karezza. A blogger on Psychology Today’s website advocated this for several years (the blog has now been removed). The NY Daily News, ABC News, Huff Post, and others did stories on the practice in 2012. The claim is frequent sex (daily or multiple times a day) without either person climaxing is good for a couple’s relationship. Supposedly, you get all the benefits of sex, but you do not get all the “harm” that comes from climax. Support for these claims is usually vague and often based on junk science.
In my opinion, none of these is how God intend us to have sex. These practices can open us to other religions, deny or skew our masculinity, put too much emphasis on the woman, or put us in a place of great temptation.
Great tweet of the week:
What you do in secret will have an effect on your marriage, both positively & negatively. Deeds are seeds! @mrgwrks
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
The Forgiven Wife posted Oral Sex for Her – Survey for the Guys ◄ Got a minute for a survey?
Black and Married with Kids
10 Tips to Immediately Improve Your Sex-Life with Your Spouse. #10 Is Our Favorite ◄ Some good stuff here.
The Generous Wife
Journey to Surrender
A New Spin on Scorekeeping ◄ “Love keeps no record of wrongs, but it should definitely keep a record of ‘rights'”
Leading Men Only
What Men Need More Of – Accountability ◄ A big yes and amen to this!
Kissing ◄ Are you doing anything she likes?
Is Infidelity A Form of Abuse? ◄ What do you think?
Relationship Series: Gary Thomas ◄ “Small and steady will get you much further than “big and sweaty”