Where Do You Want to be In Two Years?

July 24, 2014

in 1 + 1 = 1, Beyond the Marriage, Her Needs, Seeing Clearly, Your Needs

I’ve heard it said it’s better to aim for a goal and miss than aim for nothing and hit it. I also know reasonable goals help us accomplish things.

What are your marriage goals for July 2016? What do you want to be different? What do you want to have resolved? What about your sex life, what goals do you have there?

Are your goals sane, or are they unreasonable? If you shared your goals with your wife, would she agree? Would she be surprised or shocked by some of your goals? If the two of don’t have similar marriage goals it’s rather unlikely you will accomplish them.

July 2016 © Stuart Miles | freedigitalphotos.net

Beyond your marriage, where do you want to be? Do you want to have new employment? Do you want a different home? Do you want to move across town, across the country, or halfway around the world? What new skills do you want to have? What do you want to have accomplished? While some of these are a bit less dependent on your wife, most of them are more likely to happen if your wife is on board.

Now, what about your wife’s goals? What does she want her life to look like two years from now? What changes does she want?

Take some time to think and dream about the life you want two years from now. Then write down what you think, and ask your wife to do the same. Share what you each want, and spend some time praying and discussing your goals. Work to arrive at common goals for your marriage and set personal goals your spouse can support. Start talking about these goals regularly, and figure out what you have to do to make them happen.


Two years from now, I plan to be living in an RV. We will be moving west across the upper part of the US, headed for Spokane where we will spend a couple of months of the summer before heading back out on our travels. We will have done a half a dozen or more small marriage conferences over the preceding months, with more to occur in the fall. We will each have continued to grow personally in every way – especially spiritually. I will be more loving and more gracious to my wife. Our marriage will be stronger, and our sex life will be better for both of us.

Footnote added 7/22/2016: We did a great job of hitting these goals! Solid goals rock!

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The doctors say that within two years I'll be dead (chronic pancreatitis or early-stage cancer). I intend to make them eat their words.

That small inconvenience aside, the lack of shared goals has been one of the really, really hard parts of our marriage. My wife had goals when she married me, built around church and social involvement, travel, and eventually adopting a child.

Unfortunately for her, she married a former paramilitary with severe PTSD. Tap me on the shoulder at church, to say hi, and I'll...well, let's just say it's not a good idea.

And it's not much fun to travel with someone who watches for ambush sites and IEDs along our highways.

(This is after years of counseling. I was worse before it.)

My goals and dreams didn't really matter; survival was always pretty high on the list,and I tend not to look to far past a day on which I won't get shot.

But the dichotomy tore up my wife. She adjusted, but had to give up far more than anyone should be asked to abandon.

Is my love for her worth the sacrifices she made? I'm afraid to ask.



By the end of 2014 I plan to be away from my part-time day job. I have taken specific steps to launch my book and several products to enhance married couples.

Next year we plan to make our long RV journey to the west coast. (seems like RVing is in the air!)

Launch five more of the "products" in our new business.

By 12/2015 : Have signed up our 1,000th affiliate. (We have w two tier system in place for affiliates)

Along the way give 20% of our gross revenues to various ministries.

TheGenerousHusband moderator

@BudekSchmeisser Thank you for putting a lot of things in perspective for the rest of us. Praying you make those doctors eat their words. Also praying for your wife - may she feel loved and blessed.

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