Ever had a friend say, “My wife is dragging me to a marriage conference next weekend.” You felt his pain, didn’t you not? Even if he wants to work on his marriage, no one likes being dragged into anything!
Many women feel the same way about sex, or at least about certain sex acts. They’re not opposed to sex, but they feel their husband is always trying to drag them into bed or push them into some new sex act. A gentle nudge or tug would be okay, but what they experience is far more drastic.
I’m a man, so I get it. Sex is one of the best things God created for us, and even if our bodies weren’t screaming for it, we would do it because it’s so enjoyable. The only thing better than having sex with your wife is having sex with her in a new and different way.
Unfortunately, we can come across as a kid in a candy store. A noisy, demanding kid who wants three of everything, and wants them right now! Notice I said, “we can come across as” not “we act like.” There’s a good deal of perception and gender difference at work here. Women are less excited about sex than men are, and this is true even for women who are very excited about sex. Women also tend to be less “all in” about sex. They want to move slower. They want to try a taste and then think about it before taking a big bite. In essence, they are shy about sex, while we’re jumping up and down yelling about it. At best, our exuberance puts them off; at worst, it scares them away.
If you’re engaged or recently married, what I’ve said here could save you years of frustration and result in having a much better sex life in the future. If you’ve been married for a good while your sexual eagerness has probably offended wife and caused her to pull back or shut down. The damage is done, so this news is useless to you, right? Actually, there is still hope.
If you understand what I’m saying here, you’ll see why she’s reacted as she has. You’ll also feel sorry for her, and for what she must have felt because of your natural exuberance. If you “get it”, you can make changes. Slow down. Back off. When she does try something new, be patient with her.
She’s been putting on the brakes because she feels as if you have the accelerator to the floor. If you can learn to slow down she should back off the brake a bit. She’ll also stop being so uptight about sex, which will allow her to enjoy it more. In time, she might forget about the brake and even think about using the accelerator.
Links may be monetised
Image Credit: © Elbepictures | Dreamstime.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We are donation supported – thanks for your help!
Where we’re going – Contact us about speaking