When it’s her family

May 1, 2012

I started yesterday talking about the problems in-laws can cause a couple, and then focused on when it’s his family. Today her family. This is more difficult for a couple of reasons – first and foremost being that I am talking to you, not her. Beyond that, unhealthy, clingy relationships are far more common between [...]

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When parents hurt your marriage

April 30, 2012

Most of us have had some problem with our in-laws, and most of our brides have had some problems with our family of origin. A certain amount of friction is to be expected – and to be tolerated. However, when the problems are significant, it can harm your marriage. First, let me suggest you not [...]

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Always onward and upward

April 29, 2012

You can’t pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God’s law and ignoring others. The same God who said, “Don’t commit adultery,” also said, “Don’t murder.” If you don’t commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you’re [...]

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High drive, low drive: a harmful dichotomy

April 28, 2012

For years, I’ve heard people talk about high drive and low drive with regards to a couple’s sex life. I’ve never been happy with those there, much less what gets dumped under them. To start with, the terms are completely arbitrary – is the person who wants sex three times a week the high or [...]

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Permission

April 27, 2012

Often in life, someone is waiting for permission to do something. Sometimes they don’t see that they are waiting for permission, but that’s what it boils down to. Often they have been told they should not do something, by someone, at some point in the past, and unconsciously they are still allowing that to limit [...]

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Is divorce contagious, and how do you keep from ‘catching it’?

April 26, 2012

A couple of years ago a group of researchers released a study in which they discussed “divorce clusters”. From that, many have talked about divorce being contagious. A rebuttal of sorts to this can be found here, along with some of the findings of the study: “They concluded this after finding that when close friends break-up, [...]

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Forced to settle?

April 25, 2012

Some of the comments on my Monday Stop settling! post said that some have no choice because their spouse gives them no choice. Others suggested that there are times when settling is the best of the bad alternatives. While I see these as sometimes valid, I am absolutely convinced suspect a lot of settling takes place before reaching a [...]

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Who wants to be average?

April 24, 2012

I don’t understand people who look at studies on marriage, decide they are average, and that makes them happy. When you realise that about 40% of first marriages end in divorce, average puts you just ahead of those who are not going to make it! Besides, do you really want to grade your marriage on [...]

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