Does your marriage need a revolution? Chris Brogan has an interesting post on "tiny revolutions". I suggest you read the post, and think about how you could have a "marriage revolution" that could lead to a better marriage.
Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’
Care for a marriage revolution?
Monday, November 30th, 2009Being thankfull makes your life better
Sunday, November 29th, 2009Today I ran across this article, which documents studies that support the idea that an "attitude of gratitude" is good for us. The studies found that those who daily wrote down what they were thankful for feel better, were happier, and had better sleep.
Certainly it seems like a good idea to give this a try, we have nothing to lose and plenty to gain. But let me suggest a spin on this concept - each day as you list what you are thankful for, but sure to include several ways in which you are thankful for your bride. If you do this regularly, I suspect you will start to feel better about her, and that can only help both of you.
Dear journal …
Friday, November 6th, 2009Today I am suggesting journaling - for you, and for your bride, and for myself. I know a number of guys who do this, and all of them think it does good things for them. Then there are those (like myself) who don't do it, either for lack of time, or because we see no benefit. I'll list some benefits below, after my challenge to try it for a month. Pick a method (hard copy or computer) and a time each day (or a place in your routine) and just do it for a month. Write about what you are doing, your current problems and frustrations, what you need to do, how you feel, the people around you, and so on. Be sure to write about your bride and your marriage. See here for a getting started guide.
Bennefits: (A note on the links - the pages to which I have linked are "clean" but most of the sites will have ideas not reflective of Christianity.)
- Improved immune system - and probably more oxytocin
- Reduced stress, and better coping with stress
- Improved mind function
- Better understanding of those around you
- More accurate self assessment
- Better problem solving skills
- Improve your walk with the Lord
- Feel happier
And one more - journaling results in some women getting a wake up call about their sex life - or lack of same - when they find out they don't do it nearly as often as they think. Other women find that journaling about sex helps them to admit to fears that block sex, or to desires they have been resisting.
I thought of you when I saw it …
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009What "it" is may well be less important to her than knowing that you were thinking of her when you were away from her.
What do you think?
Monday, October 19th, 2009It's great to ask your bride what she thinks, but if you don't really care - or have made up your mind - why bother? If her input won't change anything, why would you want it, and more importantly, why would she care to bother giving it?
OTOH, you will deeply bless and encourage her if you really want to hear her thoughts, and show this by sometimes modifying your thinking based on what she says.
Note - if you did not get the Sunday tip, see below:
The system that sends tips via e-mail directly from the web site has been having issues - as new categories are added. If you do NOT need to filer out tips marked as "Sexuality" I suggest you move to the Feedburner system, which has run very well for months. If you do need to filter tips, see the third section below:
To get off the old system:
Go to the web site - http://www.the-generous-husband.com
Log-in (right side near the top)
Click on "dashboard" under control panel (right side, where log-in was)
Hover over the "Profile" tab on the blue bar at the top and then click on "Subscriptions"
Uncheck all boxes, and click the "Update Preferences" button.
To get on Feedburner:
Click here, follow the directions, reply to the confirmation e-mail
To add missing tips to the old system:
Go to the web site - http://www.the-generous-husband.com
Log-in (right side near the top)
Click on "dashboard" under control panel (right side, where log-in was)
Hover over the "Profile" tab on the blue bar at the top and then click on "Subscriptions"
Check all boxes for subjects you wish to receive, and click the "Update Preferences" button.
Do not be lead astray
Monday, October 5th, 2009This is a bit of a follow up on yesterday's tip.
In the book of Exodus, God warns what will happen if the people get too friendly with folk who worship other gods. These things include:
"and you take of his daughters for your sons, and his daughters play the harlot with their gods and make your sons play the harlot with their gods." [Ex 34:16 NKJV]
There are a a number of places in the Bible where this warning was not followed. One example is:
For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not fully follow the Lord, as did his father David. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, on the hill that is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the abomination of the people of Ammon. And he did likewise for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods. [1 Kings 11:4-8 NKJV]
The wisest man was brought down because he followed his wives wrong spiritual directions. If Solomon and other great men of the Bible could be lead astray, then so can we - and we must be on our guard. And no, this is not something that is no longer an issue since Jesus came - I have seen ordained men lead astray by their wife's wrong spiritual ideas.
I realise this is not something any of us want to think about. If we have to deal with it, we already have the problem of our bride having move away from the truth of God. But in addition to guarding yourself, being aware of any problem quickly will improve your chances of helping your bride avoid going off into something she should not.
So, stay strong yourself, and pray for your wife and your kids spiritual walks. Be aware of what is going on with your family members, ask questions if something seems odd, and speak up in love if something is off.
Sit, then talk
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009Spend some time with your bride, but in a very particular way. Go where you can be alone, and sit for several minutes (five or more) not talking or doing anything (hold hands or sit arm in arm, but just sit - still and quiet). Think about your bride, and what she means to you. Think about all she does that blesses you, and what you would like to be different. Think about what you do "for her" and what she would like you to do that you do not. At the same time, have her think these things about you.
Then talk.
“They” see you as a couple, like it or not
Monday, August 3rd, 2009The latest addition to my blog reading is Seth Godin. Seth is all about business, but I often find in his words ideas that apply very well to marriage. And why not, a company is very much like a family in many ways. An example is Seth's recent "All I do is work here" post, in which he wrote "Consumers don't believe (or care) that there are warrens and fiefdoms and monarchies within your company. All they know is that you leverage that brand name every day, as you have for decades, but now, instead of using that brand to polish your reputation as an individual, you're being forced to accept responsibility for the actions of others."
Many folks see you and your bride as a "brand" - as a unit. What you do reflects on her, just as what she does reflects on you. If you are fast to get close to her when people are pleased with her, but want to avoid any connection when folks are not happy with her, how does that look to others? How does it look to your bride?!
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