Accurate reflection, or fun-house mirror?


We all find it difficult to see ourselves as others do. A spouse should serve as a mirror that helps us to see what others see, and especially to help us to see our blind spots.

Are you a good mirror for your bride, or are you showing her a distorted image? Are your desires, goals, priorities or fears bending you so that you are like the wavy mirrors in the fun-house? Do you have a vision of what you want her to be that you are painting on the reflections you provide? Give it some deep thought and prayer – if you don’t think you are, or have been, a good mirror, discuss it with your bride.

By the way, this works both ways. You need to know that your bride is a good mirror if you are going to act on what you see her reflecting. Same for anyone else – don’t trust what others reflect unless you are sure the mirror they provide is free of major distortions.

2 Comments on “Accurate reflection, or fun-house mirror?

  1. I’ve never felt moved to pick a bone with you, but there’s one important point I’d like to make (well, important to me, anyway!).

    You ask, “Do you have a vision of what you want her to be…” I don’t think it honors my wife to show what -I- want her to be; that’s not my choice to make. Yes, I can try to reflect what I see in her that’s good and beautiful, and I do try to do that. But I also try to support her in becoming what -she- wants to be, not what I want her to be.

    I could (and often do!) go on, but I think that’s my main point. I do appreciate the many points you raise and my awareness with it–keep on keepin’ on!

  2. briantoo – I guess I was not clear, because I completely agree with you. If we paint our vision of what our bride should be on our reflecting, we are not being an honest or accurate reflection.


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