Second hand anger
Anger is natural and it’s not wrong, but when we hold onto our anger, it becomes destructive to us and to those around us. Ongoing anger is a poison that will destroy us, our relationships, and those who love us. If you think you have a right to be angry, or want to hold onto your anger, please spend some time trying to see what your anger is doing to your bride, and to your children. See how your anger pushes people away, and how it makes it difficult or impossible for others to love you in a way that you can feel. Realise that unforgiveness is not a right, but rather a way of life that slowly attacks everyone you love.
Anger is often a “cover” emotion – an emotion we feel is acceptable that we use to cover an emotion we feel is not acceptable. Men cover things like fear and embarrassment with anger. The problem with this is that the real emotion, and thus the real issue, is not even on the table. You can’t deal with the root cause if you are focused on your cover anger.
Anger can cause us to do things we would not normally do – hurtful and destructive things. Some folks use anger as an excuse for doing mean things – they then blame the anger, as if that makes it okay. If you do things in anger that you later wish you had not done, you have a problem. Admit it and deal with it, before it costs you something you don’t want to lose.
Resource: Ancient Paths has an excellent anger seminar on overcoming anger.