Not enough time or energy for sex

This is part of the ongoing How do you get an uninterested or unwilling wife to have more sex? series.

For a lot of guys it’s virtually impossible to be too tried for sex, but for most women lack or energy and time are significant hurdles to wanting and enjoying sex. Sex is more difficult for women, even if they really desire it. Their bodies don’t respond as quickly as ours do, and being tired makes that even worse.  What’s more, those multi-tasking brains of theirs make it difficult to focus on sex, and if she can’t focus on it, she can’t enjoy it.  Clearly then, being busy minded is going to hurt her sexually.

Beyond all of this, the more tired she is, the longer it will take her to reach climax.  What’s more, there is a level of tiredness at which climax becomes impossible.  This means a tired woman has the very real possibility of getting sexually aroused, but not being able to climax – and yes, that is as frustrating and potentially painful for them as it is for us. Unlike us, not having sex causes the desire to lessen. So for an overly busy woman, there is a certain logic in avoiding sex – the need goes away, and she avoids potential frustration.

If you want regular, good sex, you MUST make time for it.  Not just the time to have the sex, but also the time she needs to unwind physically and mentally.

Other parts of this series (current page in bold):

4 Comments on “Not enough time or energy for sex

  1. Tired… No energy… Exhausted… pretty much daily comments. And even when she isn’t tired, she wants it to be spontaneous… unplanned. I keep trying to tell her she has to think about it, so that she can focus on wanting it. Is that wrong?

  2. A nap as foreplay.

    Quite often after coming home from church and post-church dinner, we both want to go to bed. But she wants to sleep and I don’t.

    And if I try to take a nap with her laying there, I mostly lay there awake, frustrated.

    So we’ve figured out that I really don’t need as much sleep. So she goes to bed and I stay downstairs and watch TV or surf the ‘net or read. Then, in 2-3 hours, I go wake her gently and we have our time together.

    She is much more responsive at that point and it’s much better for both of us.

    So yes, the nap can be a powerful form of foreplay.

  3. Pingback: She does not enjoy sex – physical pain or discomfort

  4. Pingback: She feels it’s wrong/bad/dirty/shameful/sinful

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