The love part of the truth in love
The Bible talks about speaking the truth in love. Which part is more important, the truth, or the love? Twenty years ago, I would have said the truth – I thought love was a good way to speak truth, but I felt that the truth was needed even if it was not done in love.
Over the last couple of decades, I have moved from the truth being the most important, towards love being the most important. The truth, spoken without love, does not set people free, nor does it bring about positive change. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that the truth without love is not even the truth – it is facts, but it is not the truth, the whole truth.
On the other hand, love without truth seems unwise at first glance. This would be the “mercy only” folks who love no matter what; folks who are so busy trying to make others feel loved that they won’t speak up about real issues and problems. But, is that love? How does letting someone walk into self-destruction show love? Doesn’t real love compel us to protect others, even when that means trying to protect them from themselves?
All of this is to say if you don’t approach your bride in love, your words are worthless at best, and very probably harmful and destructive. If a truth is worth sharing, it deserves to be done in love.
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
How To Want Sex When You Don’t Feel Sexy: A great post on being sexual when overworked and tired. Good for the women, and for some of us guys as well.
Unlocking Your Sexual Potential: Some great stuff here about power and sex – if you want to have great sex with your bride you each have to give the other power over your sexuality.
The No-Talking Way to a Better Marriage: A review of the book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.
Little Touches Make Big Impact in Relationships: A good marriage application of a recent study on touch.
The Only Thing Worse Than Failure: Gina Parris has a great post that discusses regrets over what you didn’t do. Wish I had read this sooner, I would have mentioned it in my “Sex, it could be worse …” post.