Being true to yourself is good for her

While this study was done on college age dating couples, some of the findings are certainly relevant to a wider group – including married folks of all ages.  For example:

Overall, the study found that both men and women who reported being more true to themselves also behaved in more intimate and less destructive ways with their partner, and that led to them feeling their relationship was more positive. In addition, they also reported greater personal well-being.”


“Men who were more true to themselves had partners who showed more healthy relationship behaviors.  However, there was no significant relationship between women being true to themselves and men’s relationship behaviors.”

What I see in this is that being ourselves, being true to who we are at our core, is good for us and for our brides. Being true to ourselves can actually change how our wife feels and reacts, making her feel better about herself and her marriage.

Beyond that, the fact that men don’t react to a woman being true to herself is a bit disturbing to me. Those who did the study suggested that the reason for this was societal gender roles. Maybe it would have been just as accurate to suggest men are more self-sufficient… or maybe more selfish?

Is it important to you that your bride is true to herself?  How important is it, and how much are you willing to sacrifice to make it possible for her to do that more completely?

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5 Comments on “Being true to yourself is good for her

  1. It’s a nice sentiment, but what does it mean, exactly? I’m a phlegmatic, and my default position is that I don’t do anything well, so I end up not doing a lot of things that I should. Save your advice for another post. My point is that “being true to myself” means that I see myself as, mostly, incapable. How does that help my wonderful wife, who is already frustrated with me?

  2. Wow…yeah…not sure how to take this?….

    can you define “being true to yourself”…???

    I dont know of anyplace in scripture that we are told to be true to ourself….

    I know a lot of places in scripture that tell us to be Christ like…


  3. I’ve been married almost twelve years. It’s a little late for either of us to try to pretend to be anyone else. I’m not sure that it would be possible. I am sure that such a thing would not be worth the effort for either of us.

  4. Hey Paul! I had something of the same concern as DarylBryant except I would have asked what comes into your mind, when you use the phrse, “be true to yourself”? I think it would be good if you gave us your definition to ponder (or attack ;)), otherwise it’s really no more useful a phrase than the Christianese phrases we’ve coined from our modern, medieval theologies.

    And know that I, for one, appreciate you- I don’t know how you manage to get a post out every single day with the good advice you do- I know that I sure would find it a daunting task. So keep up the good work and…

    be good, just as you were created to be!

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