Her calling

I have this radical belief: having ovaries does not exclude one from having a “calling” on their life. In other words, the Lord has something for your wife to do. Call it service, ministry, blessing others, or whatever you like. Her calling might be church related, or it might not. I know a dear woman who works to increase adult literacy. She works via a secular group, but what she’s doing is very much a ministry.

Sadly, many women just stare when asked what they’re called to do. My wife asks this question of many women, and few can immediately answer. Many aren’t even sure they have a calling.

If your bride knows what she’s called to do, get behind her. Don’t take over; pray, give her moral and verbal support, and offer to help her in any way she wants you to help. By the way, “any way you can” might include taking care of the kids or doing more around the home so she has the time and energy to pursue what God has put on her heart.

If your wife doesn’t know what she’s called to do, start by letting her know you think she has a calling. Then pray. Pray with her, and pray for her. I would suggest you not tell her what you think God wants her to do – she needs to hear it herself. Your confirmation will be a blessing, your telling her will not be a blessing.



Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:


How To Get To Know Your Step Kids: A great guest post on getting to know step kids at Simple Marriage.

Do You Have a Low Body Image? and 6 Tips to Improve Your Body Image: Life Gems has couple of great posts about an issue that is a deep wound for many woman.

Who Gets More of Your Attention—Your Children or Your Spouse?: Lori Lowe looks at a very important issue in this Life Gems post.

What Have You Done For Your Marriage Today?: In another winning post at Life Gems, Lori gives some ideas for blessing your spouse based on their love language.

You are the Problem, and the Solution: Great point in this post on The Marry Blogger.

Wives Try This: Initiate Sex with Your Husband – Repost: Stu’s “Beautiful Wife™” suggests to The Marry Blogger audience that wives should initiate sex.

Men and Women Are Different. Just Ask my Son.: A cute but spot on post at The Marry Blogger – find out what’s Stu’s son knows about the difference between boys and girls.

12 Ways to Ruin Sex: Over at Project Happily Ever After Lee Hefner and Nancy Wasson, Ph.D. share “Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Hate Sex”. A lot of guys will see themselves in this – read and make changes!

Poll: Do you cuddle after sex?: In a follow up to my post of Friday a week ago, Alisa asks her Project Happily Ever After readers about cuddling after sex.

How to Get Along with an Introverted Spouse: Project Happily Ever After also has a very good look at being an introvert from Alisa, who is an introvert. If your bride is an introvert, you need to read this. If yo are an introvert, your bride needs to read this.

Batteries Included: Sex Toy Use?: Intimacy in Marriage has an excellent look at a touchy subject – by a woman. I know this is going to get forward to a few wives.

Why we Settle: Your Marriage Restored talks about something I have harped on a few times – settling.

4 Comments on “Her calling

  1. Paul –

    Thanks for the links sir!

    About your thoughts for today – Absolutely. And I see the need to support – encourage – stand beside my wife perhaps a bit more than the normal guy because I work from the home. When my business is not as busy – but hers is – I have to “Man Up” and take over the household manager position.

    This is not something that is easy for me – I typically think of “Man Up” as Make more money – “kill something and bring it home”…but my support (which includes vacuuming and managing the kiddo while she is busy) is needed for her to pursue this season of (what happens to be a) business in her life – and our marriage and family.

  2. I’m curious. Couldn’t her calling be to be a good wife and mother?

    I fully agree that as husbands we should support our wives calling. If they are truly called to something by God not supporting our would equate to standing against God. Often standing against God can be fatal.

    I also believe that God is not going to call just one spouse. I feel that the call will come to both in a complementary fashion. So if your wife is called to something at least part of your calling is probably to support hers. Of course, this works both ways. If you want an example of how things can work out when you deny your calling read Job.

    It just seems to me that her entire calling might be to be a good wife and /or mother. It is something to pray about, but I think that there might be a risk of her feeling pressured into finding a calling that she is already doing.

  3. @michael – I suppose that might be the entire calling for a few women, just as for a few men their entire calling might be to be a good husband and father. But given the life expectancies we have today, such a limited calling seems unlikely. For example, at 50 my bride grown children, and a lot more time and energy than one needs to be a good wife. I can’t imagine God limiting her love and wisdom to me.

    As to calling one spouse, I agree. If my wife is called to something, we both expect that I will be doing something to support her in that. And visa-versa. However, while a couple might have a joint calling (such as Lori and I are called to marriages) they might also have to separate and unrelated callings. That does not mean there would be no cross pollination, and I would expect to see the support mentioned above going both ways.

  4. @Stu – I understand what you are saying. I transitioned from “going to work” to working from home over a several year period. Now we both work fairly full time from home.

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